Does Your Life Revolve Around His Work Schedule?

So, do our lives really revolve around my physician spouse's work schedule? Yes, and no. He has a better schedule than residency, in that he only has to be on-call about one day a week. That also means he has at least one day a week he can be home to rest and relax. However, unless he's on an extended vacation (like last week), there isn't much we can do in the evening together, unless we schedule it way in advance and, yes, around his work. I'm happy I joined a great mom's group. It helps my son and I get out of the house each day, and we've discovered some great places and activities in our new city because of it. I feel guilty some days, though, because my husband can't share in these experiences with us. For example, today he was on-call. In fact, he still is on-call and still working hard at the hospital (and it's an hour until midnight). When he finishes his shift tomorrow, he'll most likely want to come home and rest. That makes me a little sad because I organized a great meet-up for my mom's group at a local pizza place, a la Chuck E. Cheese's. Maybe we'll get lucky in the morning and find out he slept some at the hospital, so he'll be more amenable to going with us. However, I have a feeling it'll just be my son and I attending the event this time around. Not only does he miss many of these opportunities to spend time with his family, but there are also several times when I must RSVP "no" to a night out with the girls. I know it's a little selfish of me to feel so disappointed by this, since he equally misses fun, eventful nights out with his guy friends. Still, I have to be honest and admit that, every time a "Mom's Night Out/In" is scheduled on a night when my husband is supposed to be on-call, I kind of get bummed out. I know I could always hire a babysitter, but what if my husband doesn't have to go in to the hospital because of a light work night? I could leave our son at home with him, but you never know when an emergency might pop up or a baby might decide to come into the world. It's just easier to say "no" than it is to plan around such a chaotic routine. One consolation is that my husband gets A LOT of vacation time now, which means we'll get a lot of time to spend with him (away from work). In fact, in a little over a week, he and I will be going to Chicago for five days. It will be a work-related vacation because he'll be spending most of his time at a conference. However, we decided it might be best to leave our son with my parents, which means my husband and I will have our evenings (and some of our day times, depending on his conference schedule) to ourselves. It also means I'll have some time by myself to enjoy the city, at least the areas near our hotel. I'm looking forward to a little spontaneity in my day, instead of the normal scheduled day-to-day routine. Especially after a day like today, when I felt like a single parent when dealing with my crabby 2 1/2-year-old son rather than a married one. I'm just glad tomorrow will be a new day, and my husband will be around at some point to experience it with us!