What Do You Want To Know?

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be married to a doctor? Or, have you ever had questions about the medical profession that you were just burning to ask? Then, you've come to the right place. Welcome! My name is Amanda, and I am currently married to a doctor. He's an OB/GYN, and he recently started practicing medicine. I've been with him from the beginning of undergrad all the way through medical school and residency (twelve years of training, to be exact), so I've become very used to the idea of living with a doctor 24/7. I've had several friends ask me what it's like to be married to an OB/GYN, so I decided to start blogging about my experiences. I'd like this to be a Q&A type of blog, so if there is anything you'd like to know, and you've read The Disclaimers* at the bottom of this page, then, ask away! Your questions can be funny or serious or whatever. If you have any amusing anecdotes about your experiences with your own OB/GYN or family physician, let me know. Also, if you're currently married to a doctor, whatever his/her chosen field, please feel free to share your thoughts and life experiences. You might be able to answer someone else's question better than I could! You can leave all your questions or comments in the comment section of each post, follow me at twitter.com (@asktheobswife), or email me at asktheobswife@gmail.com.

I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you!
Amanda, The OB's Wife

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Why Do Men Become OB/GYNs?

The following is a guest post I wrote for my friend, Momma Bear, back in February. She, and many of her readers, wanted to know why men would become OB/GYNs. It was her question and many others I've received recently that made me think about starting this blog. Enjoy!

When the question of why a man would become an OB/GYN came up recently, I was asked to write a post about it. I’m qualified to try to answer it because I’m not only curious about it myself, but I’m also married to one—a man who happens to be an OB/GYN, that is. After I was sent an e-mail posing the question, I pondered it a bit, and then, I turned to my husband to get his reaction. Immediately, he felt it was a sexist question to ask. It is probably as relevant today to wonder about such a thing as it would be to ask why women would become race car drivers. I leave it to someone else, though, to go up to Danica Patrick and get her thoughts on that matter. As for the subject of male OB/GYNs, I can see his point, but I can also see it from the perspective of the women who wonder about it. I grew up with a male doctor as my primary care physician. When I was a teenager and still growing into my body, I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable during my first pap exam while this man, who I trusted completely, rooted around in my nether regions. Really, though, what woman isn’t uncomfortable with a metal speculum pushed up inside her while she silently wonders what the doctor behind the sheet is looking at “down there”? But, I digress.

To know why a man would become an OB/GYN, I should probably start with my husband and his career. Every doctor has a reason for pursuing his/her chosen field, and those reasons vary widely. I can only speak on what I know of my husband, but I think many other OB/GYNs, whether male or female, can relate to at least one of his experiences. I have known him for over twelve years, and we have been married for seven of those twelve. We met in undergrad, and I remember that he thought about becoming a family doctor or a general practitioner. However, when he started rotating through the various departments in medical school, he discovered that he enjoyed both obstetrics and surgery. He got excited at the wonder and joy of birth, but he also liked the complexity and challenges of every surgery during which he assisted. Then, he found out that a residency in obstetrics and gynecology would only take four more years of training, and the field itself had the added bonus of being part general practice and part surgery. He applied for six different residency programs in three states and was matched with his second choice. When he finished his residency, he not only had a thorough knowledge of the field, but he also came out of it with a large group of friends and colleagues on whom he could rely later, most of whom are female, I might add.

Besides being the best of both worlds for my husband, obstetrics and gynecology has many other positive aspects. For one, he spends more of his time dealing with patients at the beginning of their lives than with those who are nearing the end. What is more joyous than watching a beautiful baby come into this world? That’s probably why such television programs as “A Baby Story” on TLC are so popular. Also, he enjoys being given a challenge or a good problem to solve. He doesn’t get bored with treating the same illnesses day after day. Instead, every surgery, every delivery, and every infection keeps him on his toes depending on its complications and complexities, and no two days at work are the same for him. He is also very active at work and spends little time sitting around waiting for something to happen, except on those days when a particular patient’s labor or delivery is taking more time than expected. Probably the best and most important part of his job is he gets to save lives when he performs surgeries, monitors fetal development, prescribes medications, or decides the best course of action for a particular medical situation.

There is a question within the question I’m trying to answer, though. Most women probably want to know if all the exposure to vaginas and breasts is distracting or a turn on, especially if the OB/GYN is straight and/or married. Hopefully, if the OB/GYN is a professional—and in my experience, most of them are—then, it is all just part of the job. I think most physicians, no matter what their field, believe in the idea that if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, whether they are hearts, livers, or vaginas. Also, one of their main job requirements is to diagnose medical problems. Honestly, does it sound sexy to have to look at and touch body parts covered in sores, warts, abscesses, or something else equally or more disgusting every single day? There is always an exception to every rule, but any doctor going into a field because he/she has some sort of perverted fetish related to it probably wouldn’t last very long due to malpractice and/or the possible impending sexual harassment lawsuits. My husband spent twelve years in undergrad, medical school, and residency. During that time, he learned to become a professional and objective clinician. In order to be a successful doctor, he must look at everything from a purely clinical and scientific viewpoint. Physicians learn to become desensitized to such things from the very beginning, when they spend their time in anatomy classes recognizing body organs and tissue in dissected human corpses. I don’t think there is anything sexy about that. For those women who wonder about being married to an OB/GYN: I can say that it is probably like being married to an engineer or an artist or a computer technician or a man employed in any other profession. My husband’s professional and personal lives are completely separate, the exception being when I was pregnant. Even then, he made certain my own OB/GYN took care of me, while he watched from the side lines as the expectant father. He did do the very first ultrasound in which we saw our baby’s heartbeat at only five weeks of development. It was one of the most poignant and wonderful experiences of my life and one of the true advantages of being married to him.

When it’s really important, though, does a doctor’s gender really matter, as long as he/she is competent and proactive when it comes to a patient’s healthcare? Will it really make a difference when a woman is in her 36th hour of painful labor and really just wants that baby out? Or, when the baby’s heartbeat suddenly drops and a C-section is the only recourse? Should it really matter? Besides, the question is almost becoming a moot point because there are now many more females going into the field than there are males. We witnessed this firsthand, both during my husband’s residency and also within his current practice, where the ratio of female physicians to male physicians is exactly equal, or 4 to 3, if you count the nurse practitioner. So, the next time you see your doctor, you might think about asking him/her why he/she decided to go into obstetrics and gynecology. The answer just might surprise you.

If you have any other questions you'd like me to answer, remember to leave them in the comments section of this post, tweet me at twitter.com (@asktheobswife), or email them to me at asktheobswife@gmail.com! Thanks!


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Anonymous said...

You're stupid

Amanda said...

That's interesting. Am I stupid for marrying a doctor, or am I stupid for writing a post about something to which someone had a question that I could answer? Just trying to find the logic (if any) in your statement.

Anonymous said...

You seem like a nice lady with an interesting question and answer.

(attempt to counter the mean post)

Anonymous said...

The person who posted that first comment is obviously a immature juvenile who under the anonymity of the internet decided to post something that reflects their age. Thanks for the interesting read!

Anonymous said...

I found your post to be intriguing. However, from a male husband perspective, I would never want my wife electively to submit to a male gyn unless in a code blue situation. I just feel that it is improper for any sexually mature women to submit herself to a male gyn when it can be avoided. There are just as many competent female ob/gyn's out there. Just an opinion.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the first poster. You're stupid. Your husband cheats on you with his patients. You're blind if you can't figure it out.

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to them at all. I don't know why you people have to be so mean. Your husband is not cheating on you. He is delivering babies.

Anonymous said...

Are obstetricians never supposed to get married? If there were no obstetricians then who would deliver babies? Some women actually prefer men obstetricians.

Anonymous said...

I was just wondering, how do dr's, stay awake for so long and when they are called in the middle of the night to deliver a baby, how do they not fall asleep? I know it;s a stupid question and not sure if im even asking it right but ive always wondered how they can stay awake and stay perky all the time.

Brandi said...

question for you, Amanda. Do you happen to know the male to female OB/GYN ration? I was searching for that when I happened unon your blog.

Anonymous said...

any wife of an OB/GYN doctor is seriously fooling herself if she thinks for one minute that their husbands aren’t attracted to other females when they are fingering other womens parts. I don’t care how many women they see…, they still enjoy touching and smelling of other women’s scents and their reactions when they penetrate them with their fingers.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion there is added benefit to male OB/GYN doctors, and it is not so much about sex, as it is about power. The power to say: "please undress" and the guarantee that these words will be obeyed. It is the power to say those words to a woman regardless of her age. She might be same age as his daughter or grandmother, he still can give orders to all his female patients.

Anonymous said...

I have a male OB/GYN, and I happen to like him very much, and do not feel intimidated by him at all! He is very professional! Some of the posts I've read are rediculous! Good job on the blog Amanda, I'm sure your husband is a very good doctor, and husband!

Anonymous said...

I used to only see female OB/GYNs until this past pregnancy during which I was rotated throughout doctors in the practice. I was lucky enough to find a competent male OB, with a philosophy with which I agreed. At first, I was nervous about cervical exams but he was so professional--a quick look to see where he was going, and the sheet would come down. So in response to the above posters, male OBs don't check out "the goods" more than female OBs. When I went into labor, I was lucky enough that he was the physician on call. I am pretty positive as I was lost in pain, my water broke all over him, and promptly hemorrhaged after birth that he wasn't thinking sexual thoughts. I was more embarrassed about the whole situation and this embarrassment would have been the same no matter who the doctor was. Thank you for your blog, it is nice to get an answer to this question. I was actually wondering about why men become OBs more because of the mess and the sexist belief that women are more likely to enjoy the birth of babies. Your answer made perfect sense!

Anonymous said...

I think that men have no business touching a pregnant lady, when they themselves have no idea how they are feeling. I believe medicalized birth by men is about control and power as women are giving birth in unnatural positions and hooking them up to machines, etc. Birth is a natural process and should be assisted by women that can see the beauty and power of the woman in this very spiritual event.

Anonymous said...

Great and informative post, thanks. Reading some of the comments, I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but it's really sad to see how ignorant and stupid some people are. I'm currently a medical student trying to pick a specialty and what I want to do for the rest of my life. It's not at all about "penetrating them with their fingers", you stupid tool. Not so long ago, female physicians were a rarity, even in the OB/GYN field and most senior physicians that run OB/GYN departments in hospitals and medical schools are male. From a medical perspective OB/GYN is a broad field that involves many aspects of applied physiology and clinical medicine combined with the fact that you get to do a lot of procedures and surgery combined with the fact that a majority of the things that they do have a VERY significant and immediate impact on their patients. For many, this is a plus and only a few medical specialties have such breadth in terms of expertise. Of course, this comes with the price of having unpredictable nights and long hours awake at the hospital.

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Anonymous said...

Don't be naive like I was ladies. I picked a male gyn surgeon because he was the best in his field where I live and he lived up to his reputation. However, during my recovery period is when his professional persona began to fade. Each visit thereafter he began to step over the line with little touches here and there and standing very closely until finally he fondled my breasts after the nurse left the room on an annual exam. I realized he had been grooming me in this manner so that eventually he would penetrate me with his penis not just his fingers. I feel sorry for wives who don't think their husbands would do something like this. They are making fools of themselves, their wives, and the patients that actually willingly go all the way with them which I almost became. Thank goodness for the internet where stories like this are out there otherwise I would have been one of those women that these arrogant doctors like to exploit for their insurance and sexual gratification. They are just using everyone around them, the selfish bastards.

Anonymous said...

Don't be naive like I was ladies. I picked a male gyn surgeon because he was the best in his field where I live and he lived up to his reputation. However, during my recovery period is when his professional persona began to fade. Each visit thereafter he began to step over the line with little touches here and there and standing very closely until finally he fondled my breasts after the nurse left the room on an annual exam. I realized he had been grooming me in this manner so that eventually he would penetrate me with his penis not just his fingers. I feel sorry for wives who don't think their husbands would do something like this. They are making fools of themselves, their wives, and the patients that actually willingly go all the way with them which I almost became. Thank goodness for the internet where stories like this are out there otherwise I would have been one of those women that these arrogant doctors like to exploit for their insurance and sexual gratification. They are just using everyone around them, the selfish bastards.

Informed Anonymous said...

Great post, Amanda. You may want to consider disabling anonymous commenting on your blog. It detracts from any meaningful discussion or feedback in the comment area when the immature and ignorant are permitted to run rampant.

Anonymous said...

No need to disable anon, just because you had a bad experience with a male does not apply equally to all docs, posters have psych issues at times.

The same plumbing does not make one less qualified, the same way you do not need to touch a stove to knowhot
a doctor does not need to experience cancer or chemo to know it, even so the transgenderd, gay, intersexed, etc may have different plumbing, furthermore what if the human being or woman or man has abnormal hormones or genes, for testosterone causing facial hair.

After all women's plumbing is due to hormones, and what about menopausal/uterine/breast removal,the plumbing will not be the same.

If you are gay where is the cheating, also many men are possessive not caring if lesbian touches their woman, its ownership not concern.

Anonymous said...

Ok Amanda I am so freaked out about these comments because I have been recently asked for a hand in marriage by an OB GYN, I am not sure if I will cope worrying about all these possibilities :(

Anonymous said...

A lot of trolling and ridiculous comments should be ignored, would you allow that to cancel a marriage proposal , some made by those with psych issues.

Lady valentine said...

I would honestly feel uncomfortable with a male OB/GYN. Women only! To me in this day of age where women are allowed to study medicine (actually studying in general) there is no need for male OB/GYN's. And a woman will always understand how you feel down there much better.

I feel the same way about female doctors who specialize in the male 'region'. Just weird!

In the old days men weren't even allowed to look at the womans vagina, but only to feel. This was called the comprimise procedure. This was done like that because there were no female doctors because we weren't allowed to study. So now we are passed this and still men become OB/GYN's?

How can you not find that weird? And those reasons you're husband claims are the reason why he chose to be an OB/GYN can also apply to pediatrics.

Anonymous said...

If you research the female clitoris and where it goes other than what is immediately obvious you will see that stimulation of the clitoris is virtually guaranteed during an exam. Yes, the tools are no fun. However, lubrication begins and which is sexual arousal. Indeed, some women say they've had orgasms during the exams. They can't help it.

As for the male ob-gyn, his male genes are programmed to respond to female pheromones and he is getting a faceful of them no matter how "detached" or "desensitized" he is. The programming in his genes does not shut off. And if he were so "desensitized" then he'd mostly likely have an unhappy wife or girlfriend at home.

Of the 2 base instincts - survival and reproduction - the female patient's reaction as well as the male ob-gyn's reaction are governed at this base reproduction level no matter what veneers of present-day society, past society, and attempts to explain, rationalize, and justify are used to wrap the exam situation in.

Tanya said...

A male gyno is like a mechanic that never owned a car.

Anonymous said...

It is like a chic coaching a football team.

Believer said...

I found this post to be extremely informative. I have use parts of this post in an essay I have to write for a class. I hope you don't mind Amanda. It will all be correctly cited and will make a great addition to the paper. It is impressive that your husband has so much compassion for his work. You should be proud of him, and I'm sure you are. I would love to read any more updates that you would be willing to post.
Thanks for your time.

Anonymous said...

I'm so saddened by these posts. As a medical student male, married with 3 kids, and considering OBGYN, I can assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality.

Fact is I never considered OBGYN for the first 2.5 years of medical school. I just didn't want to work with women on such an intimate level. that said, when it comes down to it, I would rather bring a baby into this world and see the immense joy on the mom and dad's faces then do anything else in medicine. For me it is all about the miracle, the joy, and the happiness that I can be a part of in my patients life. No other doctor get's that opportunity to the same extent. I also LOVE the gyn onc and the urogyn surgeries. They are some of the most amazing, delicate, and fantastic surgeries that exist anywhere in medicine. For those two reasons, I'm headed to OBGYN

Second point, it has come up a couple times on these comments that men just can't understand who pregnancy works like men. This is just ridiculous. Would you expect your oncologist to have had cancer? Would you expect your surgeon to have had every surgery he/she performs? No, that is ridiculous. I guarantee you that I, having delivered about 30 babies, understand better what delivery is like for a larger variety of women than my wife does who had delivered 3 babies. Likewise a obgyn with 30 years of experience is going to understand your problems better than a female obgyn with 3 years of experience.

Lastly, to this idea of men cheating on their wives. I really hope you don't believe that for every male OB/GYN cause that is ridiculous too. Sure some OB's have betrayed the trust given them and very few things are more sad than that. However for the large majority it is not at all the same thing. Let me tell a story that really does a good job of explaining how a doctor, when they are being a doctor, is totally different then when they aren't a doctor. My pediatrician was a friend of the family, and the father of my best friend growing up. He saw me every day for several weeks, looked me in the eyes, and had many conversations with me. But it wasn't until I was in his office, and he was thinking of me as a patient, that he noticed my eyes were yellow and I needed to have liver tests done. He would have never noticed had I not been in the office. I can tell you from experience that it is the exact same for ob's. When we are in the office, it is doctor patient and any looking and feeling we do is specifically to feel for things that are wrong. At the risk of being too graphic, when I am with my wife I do not feel for the cervix or for the ovaries when we are having sex...that doesn't make her feel good, but feeling for the g-spot...well you get the idea. Likewise when I do a pelvic exam I DO feel for the cervix and the ovaries. I'm looking for problems that I can fix and help them live a long healthy life. I make an effort to avoid any area that may lead to being aroused. It is a totally different way of thinking...just like my pediatrician.

In the end if you don't want to go to a male OBGYN that is fine. Most males will understand. However, it isn't the problem you might think it is. It is not cheating, it is NOT about understanding, and it is definitely NOT NOT NOT sexual.

Anonymous said...

OK folks. My attractive wife worked at a hospital with her gynecologist who is married, and at one point he was sending her jokes about washing, shaving, and oiling the patient's vagina to "get her ready for her gynecological exam. That was only some of the filth he sent. there were other emails at all times of the day when he should have been working or with his family, but instead was sending her emails. He sounded like a nine-year old discovering women for the first time, and I thought of contacting his wife and his licensing board before we put a stop to it. I'm a psychologist and I know men, and I also teach physicians patent skills. He's not the first, but he was the on trying to mess with my wife. I found it disgusting and, objectively don't believe that a majority of male gynos have their sexuality together enough to not fantasize or at least not act out their fantasies. It disgusts me to thing of what he was doing to her in a pelvic exam and what he was thinking about her privately. Ladies, unless you like that kind of thing, head for a female gynecologist.

Anonymous said...

Imagine who in the world would like to become a gyn being male? Either he has nothing good in medical...or has something else in mind. Of course they will show a apparently plausible explanation, and some stupid might believe that too.

Lets forget about their part, there are sick women too, who wants the little 'chance' to be exposed or ...

hugster said...

Wow, I'm appalled at some of the reactions of these women. I feel sorry that they may have been brainwashed, sheltered or just plain ignorant. I've had 2 male OB's now and they each delivered one of my son's beautifully. I'm sorry for any of you who have such sustain due to your own insecurities, but it gives you no right to be so judgemental of what other people choose to do. Amanda, I enjoyed your blog. Please don't.allow these peoples comments to stop you.from posting. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This is a very interesting discussion with many good points. But perhaps is possible that BOTH sides are right.

First, male perverts going into obgyn for the wrong reasons could just as effectively choose another specialty that involve female nudity. And there are many: plastic surg, pediatrics, oncology, gen surg, etc. Or, without spending the $$$ and 8+ years of training, men could also become RNs and NPs which must examine women on a daily basis (changing bed pans, setting up caths, shaving for gyn surg, etc.) there simply is nothing that can be done to avoid the fact that, in hospitals, patients often must be left exposed for the purpose of examinations.

As for women being inherently more knowledgable about their own anatomy, it is quite true that certain things such as the pain and joy of carrying a child and giving birth can never be understood unless one is a woman. That said, the experience differs widely from person to person and there is also a danger of a physician assuming they know too much simply because they have 'been there done that.'

I have heard of awful female ob/gyns who are reluctant to examine patients and dont do proper screening -- if I had to choose with being properly examined/treated by a perv or left undiagnosed and at risk of morbidity or death by a woman who already 'knows me/ my condition' before we've even met, I would glady choose the perv. Honesty and integrity are important; however, results are what matter! Any competent man or women with aspirations to becming an ob/gyn should not be discouraged from doing so.

manu said...

i am a medical student (male) n am facing the same dilema as ur husband (surg vs obs /gyn)..... it discouraging sometimes when patients refuse to see you ( coz of ur gender) but then u realise that there are enough pregnant n sick women to tale care off n for some it wont even matter if u r a male or not .........btw my girlfriend (also a 4th yr med student ) is pretty amused at the fact tht i want to take up obs/gyn(given tht she is applying in surgery...considered predominantly a male field)...i think its your competence n not the gender tht matters in the end

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I will never go to an ob/gyn again, though I have had a relatively positive experience with on before (he was very old and very kind). But in another context (NOT as a patient, we worked together in another context) I was sexually harassed by a man that was a well-known OB/gyn for 20 years. He kept asking me to have sex with him, telling me he "knew all the spots." After that experience, I simply will not allow another strange man to examine me unless really necessary (for instance, I had a see a specialist once for tearing repair, and it was a male and it was just fine, he was kind, but it would not have been my choice). I only want my husband to see and touch me down there, or another woman clinician.

That said, I dont think most Ob/gyns are as big creeps as that one guy. But I do wonder about women who choose to specialize in penises for their profession the same way about men who choose to specialize in vaginas. I get the draw of "bringing life" Honestly, maybe if I were a doc I would want to do that too. But I think either the its a little sad, like the doctor must either be so totally desensitized to vaginas and touching that he isnt excited in his bedroom, OR he ISNT totally desensitized and he DOES get excited when he has an especially beautiful patient. I could not bare the thought of my husband fingering another woman, no matter WHAT positive professional purpose it had. I feel it would be very hard to be the wife of an OB . . . I guess I would always wonder if my vagina is getting compared to someone else younger, or my breasts, etc. You must be a very very secure woman.

Marie said...

I have seen both male and female gyns over the years for my annual Pap test (never had a baby due to infertility). All of them have been very professional in their behavior toward me, and the men always had a female nurse present during the entire time they were in the room with me. I get that some women aren't comfortable with a male gyn, and that's fine--just go to a female. But to say that men shouldn't even be allowed to be gyns is crazy. My sister is an ER nurse, and she has to start catheters on both male and female patients. She would definitely tell you that having to do that holds NO sexual appeal AT ALL. I'm not denying that there are perverts in the medical profession who use their position to gratify themselves, but I doubt they last very long because someone will eventually report them.

I just want a doctor who knows what he/she is doing and will really listen to my concerns about my own health. What I dislike in a doctor is one who doesn't really listen and just rushes through everything without really hearing or answering my concerns. A good ob/gyn will do this, no matter what their gender.

To the med students who have posted: good luck with your studies. Med school is tough, but it sounds like you will be good, compassionate doctors!

Logicisyours said...

People don't usually do things "FOR OTHER PEOPLE." People are naturally selfish. And the reason people go into certain professions are often subconsciously related.

A woman who was once bullied by her brother became a pediatric nurse. Why? What do nurse give children all day? Shots. She gets to see young boys cry all day.

Besides all the bullshit that often people spurt out to make themselves look good in front of other people, they often do things for self-serving reasons.

Why would a male take OB GYN? Of course they average 200,000 annual income, probability of being hired etc. but you can't take out the fact that despite all those "politically correct" reasons, a male gynecologist picked OB GYN for the fact that he gets to do things to strange women he normally won't be able to do.

Simply overlooking that fact that Gynecologists are biological beings and that their choice to become one is not related to sexual desire at all is voluntary blindness.

However, I do believe that besides the fact that "the reason" they picked such a profession could include sexual gratification, those who practice it successfully are often very professional.

I just think it its complete utter bullshit when they say that they don't find any sexual gratification from seeing an attractive woman naked in front of them. It is just simply programed into straight males.

But then again you are an OB's wife. You will not believe what people say negatively about your husband no matter what logical argument we make because your reason for believing in him is primarily emotional. Not to mention you have the choice of either ignoring a complete stranger on a blog or live thinking that your husband loves his job so much because of the obvious reason.

Momof4 said...

Thank you for this blog, Amanda. I have always wondered this, but never searched for an answer or asked anyone.

Regarding previous posts, it is very unfortunate that people take their experiences and opinions and want to pawn them off as fact for every male OB/gyn. I think it is only helpful to share those experiences and opinions to give others something to be aware of, but to call this wife stupid or naive or what have you is inherently ignorant. Does anyone know this woman personally? I doubt it. When personal attacks are made or opinions given as overall general assumptions, in my mind, it immediately discounts the entire argument.

With regard to my own personal experiences and opinions, I have been to many OB/gyns in the last 13 years. My first visit was my 1st OB appt with my 1st child. My doctor was an older male and I was 19. He correctly diagnosed a large cyst on my ovary, which numerous specialists, ER doctors and primary care doctors had failed to do for 6 months prior. He performed emergency surgery on me 2 weeks later, correcting the issue and did so with such care and knowledge since I was 4 months pregnant. He delivered my 1st 2 children. I was saddened to learn he stopped delivering babies when I became pregnant with my 3rd child and I opted to find a female group of doctors. With the exception of 1 mid-wife, I hated my entire experience with this group. The lack of concern, the unfriendliness and general attitude that because they "knew" what I was going through I should just suck it up and deal with it really left something to be desired. My 4th child resulted in a miscarriage and I was still under the care of this female group. The doctor did not come talk to me before or after my surgery. I went back to my previous male doctor for my 2 week post-op check up.

After my husband's job transferred us to another state, I, again sought out a female group to start with. Again, I felt the lack of care, concern and felt shuffled through their office like I was just a number. I was pregnant with what would become my 4th child and I vowed to quickly find a male doctor that would listen to me. I was lucky enough to do so and he was extremely professional in every aspect. What I liked about this doctor was that he had pictures of him and his wife and kids in every room and thought the office. It helped me feel confident that he was there to do his job.

Upon another transfer to another state, I refused to go to a female group again. I found yet again another male doctor with no less than professional bedside manners. He just performed my hysterectomy and has been very mindful of my recovery expectations. For me, I will continue to go to male doctors. I think every woman has a sixth sense about her and I for one second felt uneasy about my doctor's level of professionalism I would leave and find another doctor.

So, what does my husband of almost 13 years with which I have 4 beautiful children with think of all this? Well, he has been with me at numerous appointments with all of my doctors and has left it up to me with regard to who I see. He was uncomfortable at first but after seeing the level of professionalism and pure competence with regard to facilitating my comfort by these doctors, he has no issue. I think those who are misrepresenting the whole through the comments here are very immature or allowed themselves to be subjected to unprofessionalism and now wants to blame the world.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting your experience/opinion regarding your husband's profession as an OBGYN. Regardless of whether the opinions of your readers are positive or negative toward male OBGYNs, it provides your readers with a forum for debate - minus the ridiculous, uninformative, and baseless opinions of course. I am currently looking for a new OBGYN, as my husband and I are looking to start a family in the next year. I have always preferred female gynos because we have the same body parts - some were great, some were mediocre, and others were cold, abrupt, and "rough" down there! Trying to find a top-rated OBGYN in my area has been tough, and there are so many more male options than female. I have been considering going with a male because I've been told they are more "gentle" and understanding (probably because they don't know first-hand what it's like to be pregnant or go through pregnancy themselves). I am truly torn as to whether to go with a male or female. I have heard "horror" stories about both male and female gynos and have had friends/family switch from one gender to the other - and it goes both ways. I appreciate the blog and do believe there are good points on both sides. I don't think every male doc is in it for the wrong reasons, it's just a matter of finding the right doc, with the right values/reasons, with the best education, years experience, and track record. I am stumped on how to find him/her! I have tried various websites and referrals from friends, but I'm having a hard time making a decision. Any suggestions on how to find the right OBGYN would be great! Maybe a future blog?? Please do not let these nasty posts get to you... especially the ones that get personal - when they don't even know you or your husband! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, reading some of these negative posts kind of leaves me fuming. Seriously, to the ladies and men who say that men should not be Og/gyns, have you ever had a vaginal exam followed by a pap smear? They are NOT pleasant and they are NOT sexual!

I am a woman who has seen both male and females. I am not a secure, confident woman and I get very uncomfortable with ANY gynecologist. Who really wants another stranger regardless of sex looking and touching their most intimate body parts? Setting that aside, I have had better experiences with my male gynecologist than the females I've seen.

The males have always been very professional and quick! Not so quick as to not do a thorough exam, but they didn't linger on any specific body part. They were more apt to actually listen to me and thoroughly answer any questions that I have. One gynecologist in particular never fails to ask me if I am still happy with my method of birth control (something I often forget to bring up).

The women, sad to say, always seemed rushed and a little rough with the speculum. But that's just my opinion.

I do believe that males have the mindset of a doctor and not a hormonal sex crazy tennager when with their patients. Who has time in a busy office to sit there and feel up a woman while she's exposed? There are so many things that they have to look for and rule out. I find it hard to believe that a man gets sexually aroused when they have their fingers inside you while they try to push down on your abdomen to find your ovaries and uterus! Have normal men even seen the inside of a vagina? It's not some glorious sight that makes them want to have sex with every vagina they see. I bet most men (and women) don't even know that there's a mucus gland in there!

Anyone who thinks that a man gets turned on by looking (and feeling) that is insane!! Maybe there is an peeve or two out there but I have yet to see one and as long as my gun continues to take care of me and look out for my health once a year, I will continue going to see him. Most of us just want to get it all over with and these guys know that. They aren't so shallow that they can't see how uncomfortable we are, and they really don't want miserable patients.

And just as a note, it's pretty much required that a female nurse be present during the exam anyway so there's no real reason to be concerned. Even females have to be accompanied by a nurse.

Not every guy is out to get laid! Get over it already!

Anonymous said...

Perve* gyn*

jasep30 said...

I haven't read all of this conversation. I don't have the time. What drew me to it was a profound sense that men, in my opinion, since I was a teenager should train to be experts in male genitalia, and women in female genitalia. this logic I gained fron feeling somewhat assailed when examined by a female as a child. Maybe I overreacted. As an adult, I am a police officer. I am only allowed to search men. Female officers search females. I don't understand how it is that men are allowed to continue to act as gn's anymore.....if the police cant......

jasep30 said...

I just read the last post, and a few others. Christ, that person is confident in humanity if they think a guy, professionally trained or no, can't or better still won't, get turned on when he's got two fingers stuffed up her. It's not just teenage hormones dictating, there are plenty of FREAKS out there, all of them just slightly disturbed to be doing what they do. It should be left to females to examine females and if u don't like the service, complain or get a different female gn...

Anonymous said...

Men are men - Professional or not professional.

I work as a management consultant at for many big corporations. You will be be surprise at the amount of *** that goes around.
And we are all professionals. CFAs/MBA/PhDs ...

Men are men. Even doctors. God made it like that.

I think you are in denial.

Anonymous said...

My OB tried to turf me to a man an she was Immediatly fired. Any man who says I wanna finger and look at twats all day is a perv and I will have no part of it. You can't tell me that reading books or taking test makes you an expert. He can't even know what a simple menstral cramp feels like, only what he's heard. Bullshit. They should all me arrested! Pervs! How are they even allowed in OB GYN offices??? Pervs. If you have a oenis, you are no way qualified to be a twat doctor. Period. Your husbands a twat gazing perv. Good luck with that.

Anonymous said...

IT's very SAD to see that humanity is still plagued by such ignorance,notice how the ignorant and graphic posts are against male GYN's and the intelligent and well written ones are for them?
Very interesting, luckily the level of intellect of OBGYN's male or female is much higher then these poor, ignorant individuals!
I am a woman and in my opinion,
Saying a man is any less qualified in gynecology purely because of his sex, is the same as saying a woman is less qualified to hold a high level position in a male dominated field purely because of her sex!
Wrong on either count!
AMANDA Congrats on having such a wonderful man as your husband! May you continue to have many years of happiness!!

Erika Marie said...

I am so incredibly uncomfortable with male doctors but I had one check my cervix & then when it came down to my emergency c section, the only OB from the practice on duty was male. When I went back for a checkup, guess who was performing the exam? He was since he did the surgery. So when it was time to get my IUD... He did it too. I was totally but as far as how I imagined it would be, it wasn't so bad.

Anonymous said...

I have read on other forums from people who know male gynecologists personally--friends or family--and they said that the doctor admitted to them that they will often get a thrill when examining a young, healthy woman. You can also do a Google search and read the long list of male doctors who have been exposed as perverts. I think women have been brainwashed into thinking that male gynecologists are too professional to get sexual pleasure, but any man knows that the body of an attractive woman is going to turn a man on--doctor or no doctor.

Anonymous said...

"Saying a man is any less qualified in gynecology purely because of his sex, is the same as saying a woman is less qualified to hold a high level position in a male dominated field purely because of her sex!"

It's not the same thing at all. We are talking about nudity and modesty, not being qualified or not. We are talking about the right to choose who views and touches your nude body. To some: just because they can does not mean that they should.
Male gyn's may be qualified, but I certainly have the right to say yes or no to whomever wants to view or touch my nude body. Remember, what they choose to do for a paycheck is their own decision, not mine.
Medical situations are not sacro-sanct. They are situations full of regular men and women....who went to a certain school to learn certain things just like everybody else. No better, no worse, but not devined with gender-nuetral wings.

Do what you want with your own body, and I will do what I want with mine.


NoMalechildrenForMeThanks said...

Yeah most doctors have god-complexes, and relationships with them generally suck.
And marriage (like signing papers and throwing a big party blah blah blah) is DUMB.

Men should stay away from this profession and let the ladies handle it. The ladies ARE the natural experts after all. And male vagina doctors have VERY BAD bedside manner. Moreover, the vagina doctor could have picked any specialty he wanted. Something that included a lot of work around his OWN anatomy. Be a penis doc. A butt-doc. But you chose to a vagina doc. I seeeeeee....
The perv level just went red.

And I'll kindly request that you not examine me while pregnant or otherwise. Certainly not while giving birth. Have you SEEN the way the male doctors treat birthing women? Not to mention their sheer lack of expertise in simple things like getting a baby to turn...handling shoulder dystocia...breech birth. They happen all the time and yet Dr Bozo DUDE has to panic everyone else with his own stupidity.
Oh, and if he gets to to panic, he can stick his hands up you to tear you open the way they loooove to do.

Since it looks like most male OBGYNs have or develop sick ulterior motives,

Give the profession back to the midwives. Or mothers themselves. Screw licencing of ALL kinds. Let one's reputation in helping birthing mothers precede them.

P.S. Did you know that many of the women burned at the stake during all them witch-burnings were not just "doctors", but HEALERS. They were killed because stupid males thought the women had maaaagical potions...and they kinda did like *black cohosh* which can work like the morning after pill or something....
ANYway- the men wanted control off womens' vaginas to perv on them constantly, for one. And they wanted control of women's reproduction.

So, yeah, "doctors" do not impress me in the least.

Anonymous said...

I am a husband and father of 3 children. Until about 2 years ago I was ignorant of precisely what is involved in the typical ob gyn exam including the pelvic and breast exam. When I
Learned the intensity and level
Of examination my wife was having by her male ob gyn doctors I was furious. Intellectually I understand that such exams are needed for health. But psychologically having a man doctor put his fingers inside my wife while simultaneously putting his hand on her vagina makes me see red. Don't get me wrong, if my wife's condition were medically critical I could care less WHO did an exam. But the truthful fact of these exams are that when women patients are well they are unecessary. Even a number of respected medical institutions now state that the pap smear is only needed once every 3 years. Add to the fact, medically, that a mammogram is the gold standard for locating breast anomalies NOT a breast exam once a year - which has been criticized even in medical circles as providing too many false positives and unecessary treatment and you can understand the anger. You state in your blog that there is nothing sexual by your husband examining sick women (with genital warts, puss, etc). No one would argue that point with you. But, the real issue men have with the whole process is when their pretty attractive spouse or girlfriend is intimately examined by a male doctor. In the future, as with all medical science, there will likely be better and less invasive methods for women to maintain health. Historically, people will view this process for what it is: crazy and largely unreliable. Because your husband is a doctor does not make him special or immune to being a man. It does not make him a god. It does not make him incapable of human weaknesses. It is delusional if you believe he is NEVER aroused while doing pelvic and breast exams. He may hide or cover it lest he lose his professional licensure. But if he is a man, living breathing and normal, he has enjoyed certain fringe benefits doing his job. That being said, women and their husbands or significant others will have to tolerate these procedures whether they like them or hate them. We can learn from medical history that most procedures used previously, thought to be the Best treatment of the time (I.e. bleeding people with leaches and don't even get me started on physical exams of women(designed by men by the way. Because if we are all being intellectually honest we know that MEN were the doctors years ago NOT women). Are no longer even remotely considered appropriate. In conclusion, thank you for providing your site. It provides a way for people to express their true feelings on the subject of male ob gyns. Nothing personal but most of us men prefer male doctors to keep their fingers and eyes out of our wives and girlfriends, especially when other alternatives are available.

Anonymous said...

Why do we not do more to stop and punish these male ob gyns (perverts)! Can you beleive that some parents actaully put their young daughters in the hands of of a pedaphile and so many people look the other way!

Anonymous said...

It may be too strong to call the male ob gyn perverts, however, it is a custom that has only been endorsed due to societal acceptance here on the United States. In Europe, where life expectancy is longer than here in the US in many countries, their ob gyns would not even think of doing pelvic exams annually because they are, in the healthy woman, unecessary. But here doctors can decide at any time with a woman that to examine her she needs a full pelvic and breast exam. The male ob gyn is an oxymoron. While male ob gyns may claim lofty goals for going into the field on the surface, one has to wonder why a normal heterosexual male would spend many years in medical school, followed by an intense residency and internship for years to essentially spend the majority of their life examining disrobed women ? True, they will also have to endure those women who are not hygienic, drug users or sick. But the great majority of women being examined in this field are pretty young women of child bearing age who are sexually active who the male ob gyn gets to put his fingers in their vaginas and rectums in the name of science. Not bad work for a guy of you can get it , right ? I think a lot of men who are not doctors would agree with this sentiment. It would be refreshingly nice to hear a male ob gyn just admit this well known fact. Then, at least, women seeing a male ob gyn would know this to be true. Let's face it folks women who are normal may LIKE to be examined by a good looking ob gyn. Some may be turned on by it. So, when you are blogging about WHY men become ob gyns don't forget this obvious reason. It would be dishonest to pretend men ob gyns do not enjoy this part of their"job".

Qualified Opinion said...

Dear Amanda thank you for your post. In my opinion in order to provide an unbiased information it would be appropriate to allow posting the opinion of a Male Gynaecologist. In this light, I would like to post an extract from "The Psychology of Gynaecology" by Dr. Nelson Soucasaux, Male Gynaecologist:
A very important and totally unexplored aspect of women's medicine psychology is the one related to the real motivations, at the deep psychological level, that lead doctors of the male or female sex to become gynaecologists and/or obstetricians. Nevertheless, we still have to confine ourselves to the construction and elaboration of hypothesis based, of course, on the observation of facts, experience, analysis and deduction.
It is a very well-known fact that a great number of men have considerable psychological problems in relation to women and that the male psyche is naturally directed towards the female sex. According to C.G. Jung, in men's psychology there is the Anima archetype, which corresponds to the primal images of women, to the inner women who "inhabit" and energize male psychology. About Anima, M. Jacoby observes that "... she is the principle of Eros, because the development of a man's Anima becomes manifest in the way he relates himself to women" (Jacoby, M.- "O Encontro Analítico Transferência e Relacionamento Humano" ["The Analytic Encounter Transference and Human Relationship"], Cultrix, São Paulo, Brazil, 1984).
A man needs to acquire a better knowledge and understanding of women to enter into the mysteries of female nature; this is a demand of the Anima archetype. Medicine can be one of the ways to achieve this aim. I believe that here we find some of the reasons that attract many male doctors to gynecology. However, considering that the knowledge and practice of medicine grant a specific "power" to the medical class (hence the origin of the frequent "fantasies of omnipotence" found in many physicians' psychology), it is also possible that some male gynecologists make use of the speciality as a way of feeling themselves exerting some "power" over the female sex....(This extract continues in second post)

Qualified Opinion said...

Continuation from “The Psychology of Gynaecology" by Dr. Nelson Soucasaux, Male Gynaecologist:
Gynecologic practice implies the exposition of the intimacy of the female body and the touch of parts of this body by the physician in order to perform the examination. This fact can arouse the most varied feelings, not only on the patients, but also in the male or female doctors, depending on the peculiarities of the individual psychology of each one of them. It is fundamental that gynecologists and patients are capable of dealing adequately with them at the psychological level.
Several kinds of projections, fantasies, conflicts and resistances appear on both sides of the gynecologist-patient relationship. Women frequently project on male gynecologists their problems concerning men and the way they view the male sex. Male gynecologists can also project on the patients their problems regarding women, as well as the peculiar way they view the female sex. Almost always, the psychological dynamics of these processes is not adequately brought to consciousness by either one of the parties and, because of this, several problems can appear, disturbing the treatment. As I already said, the gynecologist-patient relationship often acquires very neurotic patterns.
As I always emphasize, Gynecology is an extremely problematic speciality which, even so, neither becomes aware of this fact nor tries to place itself under discussion. It has always been astonishing to me that diverse subjects related to Women's Medicine are not discussed either within Gynecology or out of it. Some of the probable reasons for this can be: 1) the incapability to perceive determined facts and/or reflect about them; 2) not wanting to admit the existence of these facts, because they are "disturbing" for the present attitude of mind of most people; 3) the interests and conveniences of the medical ideologies and beliefs that dominate Women's Medicine.

Anonymous said...

This was an excellent post, Even doctors writing about doctors know the truth. Historically, society will likely look back on our time period and observe the reality that men ob gyns are innapropriate to routinely examine women internally And externally on a routine basis. Psychologically our society has simply rationalized that male ob gyns are acceptable. But, in reality, most men (who are not ob gyns) and most women really do not want a male ob gyn examining them this intimately unless they enjoy the thrill of a strange man examining them as well. All women reading this post should be on notice of the REAL psychological reasons men become ob gyns, at least knowing the truth, that male ob gyns go into this field for power over women (what higher power can there be but to have women disrobe and then intimately examine them inside and out ?) and for the male yearning to see as many women as possible in this way, what great profession for a man !

Qualified Opinion said...

Dear readers,since Amanda posted her husband's declared experience in the Gynaecological training I believe that in order to provide an unbiased information about Gynaecological training in Medical schools, it would be appropriate to report an extract from another published book, from Terri Kapsalis, Female Gynaecologist and Medical School Teacher:

Public Privates: Performing gynecology from both ends of the speculum (Duke University Press, 1997. ISBN: 0-8223-1921-7), where she also refers to previous studies from Buchwald:

"Students seem to find it very difficult to consider female genital display and manipulation in the medical context as entirely separate from sexual acts and their accompanying fears. Buchwald's lists of fears makes explicit the perceived connection between a pelvic examination and a sexual act. "A fear of the inability to recognize pathology" also reflects a fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, an actual worry expressed by some of Buchwald's student doctors. Likewise, "a fear of sexual arousal" makes explicit the connection between the pelvic exam and various sexual acts. Buchwald notes that both men and women are subject to this fear of sexual arousal. "A fear of being judged inept" signals a kind of "performance anxiety," a feeling common in both inexperienced and experienced clinical and sexual performers. "A fear of disturbance of the doctor-patient relationship" recognized the existence of a type of "incest taboo" within the pelvic exam scenario."

Anonymous said...

first comment;agreed
you're stupid.
only women should major as obgyns.
only men should touch penises for a living.
mixing the sexes is just wrong and shouldn't be legal at all.
also def 100% agree with the men's power/god complex

I feel sorry that you are so blind
what's worse is that you're okay with it
fucked up..very fucked up.. very sad indeed..

Anonymous said...

Qualified opinions comments are well thought out, intellectual and honestly sets forth the truth that given the subject of women's pelvic exams men have a myriad of conflicts, gender does matter. While there was an earlier comment that a persons gender "should not matter" we all know that it does. Even the last article cited of the fear of sexual arousal illustrates the point that such distractions tend to make competent medical care harder. Let's just be intellectually honest. Men in this line of work makes no sense. Even the woman who contributed to this blog told us all how uncomfortable she was. Just because she had to endure it and was ok medically does not make it right. She had no choice. She was given a lemon and made lemonade out of the situation. If you women knew what male gynecologists think for real and how they discuss women (the attractive ones vs. the I attractive ones) you would be much stronger on not endorsing men in this particular field knowing the truth.

Anonymous said...

I found a video of a vaginal examination by a male doctor on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chVpVZKqsEs

I personally find it outrageous, that married women allow these men to do such intimate examinations on them.

I am not married, but I would find very discomforting if my partner, and future wife allowed one of these guys to do the exam on her especially if she could chose to have a woman.

I personally find it very sexual and I do not see it as just medical: it is another man touching her vagina, opening it, putting his fingers inside, etc.

Frankly, I do not understand how the regulatory system works in the world. We have female security people searching women at the airports and then we allow men to open women's vaginas and stick their fingers in it.

And I also wonder how these women think. I personally find it weird that one allows a strange man to do that without feeling an intrusion.

Anonymous said...

This is another video. People who think it is not sexual are crazy.


Anonymous said...

I completely agree with this post.

Anonymous said...

Amanda's Husband's Job






Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure he's just a pervert. Everything you listed sounds like you're desperate for people to believe this. He likes pussy. End of story.

CommonSenseWoman said...

It's a matter of dignity/privacy vs indecency/promiscuity

I am a Woman and I think that Women who go to a male doctor for intimate examinations, given that there are plenty of female doctors available in developed countries, are no different from women who go to the gentlemen's bathroom when there is the lady's bathroom available....

I actually think it is worse than that: it is like a woman having intentionally a shower in the men's changing room, when there is the female changing room available and then saying:

- well after all it's nothing sexual, it is a matter of physiological functions and personal hygiene... It is just wrong...

...Similarly, allowing a male doctor to examine intimately a female patient is like allowing a male security man or a male police man to search a female woman under her skirt or underwear:

It is just wrong in principle, there are trained police women and security women for that...And none would say that it is ok because they are well trained security professionals, so they don't do it sexually...

considered that there are women of all shapes and beauties it is inevitable that like all other human beings if police men were allowed to search or touch women they would find some of them very attractive.... and there would be the risk that as it happens in the medical profession I think many male police men would take advantage of their position to search many women under their skirts and underwear based on the grounds that it is for security reason....

I really don't know why people cannot or do not want to use common sense:

Male doctors examining female patients intimately is wrong...

Doctors should be like the police:

Cross-gender is ok to for all things which are not intimate, for all the others same gender should be compulsory as it is for the police or the security people...

Think about it, if a police man could choose whether to search men or women and he would choose to only search women under their skirts and underwear, would u think he is doing it for the sake of security?!?!

Amanda I think you really want to believe is fairy-tales

Anonymous said...

Male doctor here. I’m a surgeon, not an OBGYN.

Doctors are not special. We are just regular people with medical degrees and very clear rules on how we are to conduct ourselves around our patients. Other than that, beneath the white coats we are the same sexual creatures our patients are. I know how doctors are. I know how I am.

I don’t care if a male OBGYN has a female nurse chaperoning the pelvic exam. She’s not chaperoning his mind. She is not privy to the thoughts that may be going on in his head while he’s sticking his fingers in an attractive woman’s vagina or anus. For all the female patient knows, the OBGYN could be enjoying the exam as though he were looking at pornography or a strip show, and then fantasizing about it later on after he leaves work. If he’s a heterosexual man, then he likes seeing and touching women’s genitals and anuses. Just like any other guy. Period. That’s the un-politically-correct reality that the OBGYN profession - and the medical profession as a whole - has tried to sweep under the rug.

A man has no business going into a profession that requires that frequency of intimate contact with the opposite sex.

Anonymous said...

I have gone to both male and female doctors over the years as my husband's job has required us to move. I don't believe that I've been treated inappropriately during a pelvic examination but I do notice differences. Pelvic and breast examinations from male doctors seem to take longer. Male doctors also seem to place themselves directly at the bottom of the examination table whereas female doctors tend to stay to the side and for lack of a better description "stare less down there". Just observations I guess, I have an academic background in psychology and sociology. A study on these perceived differences would be interesting.

Anonymous said...

In this day and age, there's just no reason to use a male OBGYN. It has nothing to do with "knowing the parts better" - it's just a comfort issue. Who wants someone they barely know sticking their hands and tools up inside their vaginas or massaging their breasts? No one likes it. But if it must be done, then obviously someone of the same gender is the most appropriate person to do it.

It has nothing to do with qualifications or edication. But for the same reason we separate restrooms and dormitories into men and women's, for the same reason the people who work in the lingerie department are all females, for the same reason L&D nurses are women - it is absolutely more comfortable to have a woman handing and viewing your intimate parts.

Why would a man enter OBGYN? I don't know. The bigger question to me is why a woman would willigly see a male OBGYN when a female was available? Either she enjoys the thrill of the inappropriate contact, has some serious self esteem problems and has some sick drive to be degraded and humiliated, or has the backward belief that men really are more competent than women. Sad

Anonymous said...

what a bunch of sexist garbage. Then we should get rid of 1/2 the female nurses so men only have male nurses, and get the female reporters out of the locker rooms because that is a lot worse. And the only reason a female Dr. would treat male patients is to abuse, ogle and grope them. If you want a female gyn fine, but to insinuate males can not be gyns without being pervs says something about your own lack of character not theirs. This woman knows her husband far better than you. As the father of two daughters I watched their birth, performed by a gyn, whom I know personally. He loves delivering babies even though after paying his malpractice he loses money. Sexism doesn't depend on the gender of the parties. Grow up, look in the mirror, if you see life so negatively, it is likly the person in the mirror that has the problem.

Cheesecakeczar said...

Most of the people here are really stupid. The doctor will have to deal with unattractive people most of the time. As a male interested in the opposite sex, I know this wouldn't be the way to do it. Quit the sexist bullshit.

Anonymous said...

I found this blog while searching for something else. The lack of understanding about ob/gyn physicians in general and male ob/gyn's specifically is staggering. Let's see if I can set the record straight here.

Medical students of either gender choose ob/gyn because it is a great mix of internal medicine, psychology, and surgery. Ob/Gyn physicians have the unique privilege of caring for patients through many major life events, and, unlike many other specialties, can use their surgical skills to save 2 lives at the same time. I have delivered around 6,000 babies and have saved several hundred babies and perhaps a couple of hundred pregnant women or gynecology patients (for example, internal hemorrhage from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy). It's a great feeling to be able to help my patients using both medical (cognitive) and surgical skills.

Sadly, non-physicians are used to the vagina and vulva exclusively as sexual organs. Ob/Gyn physicians are aware that there are a couple of hundred medical conditions that can affect this relatively small part of the body, which is why it requires 4 years of medical school and 4 years of residency to learn enough to care for ob/gyn patients. Women physicians are not more gentle or more understanding than men, or vice versa. Of the 10 worst ob/gyn physicians I have met, 6 are women and 4 are men. These are all criminally bad doctors. Their gender is not important. They are just really bad people and doctors. In my practice the male physicians are extremely popular, more than the women. I see thousands of normal women a year, none of whom want me to "penetrate" them with my fingers (as some have mentioned here). Shame on you for implying that men seek out this career out of the need to mistreat women or that women seek out male gynecologists because of some psychological pathology. Really. It's a sick concept and not supported by facts.

Men choose ob/gyn because it's a great field of medicine. Had Dr. Papaincolau not pursued ob/gyn then millions of women would be dead from cervical cancer. Thousands of male ob/gyn physicians have saved millions of women over the years, some by doing basic research, others by working 80 hour weeks, caring for your families while spending time away from theirs. The worst outcome from the ignorance shown here is that many highly qualified male medical students will not pursue ob/gyn, and many of those students might make huge contributions to women's health.

Anonymous said...

bravo!!! Amanda! ignore those people who are not open-minded. I have seen two awesome male ob/gyn, and they are extremely professional.

Anonymous said...

Whatever the alleged doctor said, Given that there are plenty of female doctors we women prefer for our privacy to go to a female doctor. Also our partners are happy.

This choice has nothing to do with sexism, it has to do with our supreme right to keep our privacy.

Regardless of what they can say, a male student of medicine does not become a neutral gender person. He is attracted to women as much as a male student in economics, or engineering are.

During his studies, a medical student only learn not to make comments which are inappropriate and keep feelings and emotions for himself. He can't certainly eliminate them, he is not a super-human.

There is really no reason to choose a man for a vaginal/breast/rectal examination.

He may be good as much as he wants and be motivated by good intentions, that does not change that as a woman I feel uncomfortable to have a man who is not my partner watching, touching my vagina/anus/ and breast. My partner feels the same and it is normal. Which men are happy that their partners are scrutinized in their most intimate parts by another man, when there is a good lady doctor available? NONE.

Anonymous said...

Whether or not society wants to admit it, men are sexual creatures by nature. There is NO avoiding it, regardless of his morals, family life etc. You're talking about biological make up here. Hard core billions of FACTS and STUDIES that have been done on the male mind, ways of thinking, perspectives of sex etc. It just is how it is.

With that being said, its extremely inappropriate for a man to have such a profession. He has no place seeing women of all ages (including little girls) in such a way. Medical or not. It's something that a woman should be dealing with. I am pregnant with my second child and I am DISGUSTED by the fact that I had a male doctor for my first pregnancy.. sometimes I just sit there like WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!!! After going to women after, I could see why so many women avoid male doctors. Never again.

You and all other posters can continue trying to justify... but no reason is good enough! Your body is the ONLY female body your husband should be seeing, without clothes, ever. You are truly taking away something special from your marriage day by day even if it doesn't seem like it. I feel bad for you, actually....

Anonymous said...

This is a fascinating blog. I am a female family medicine physician and I choose to see a male ob/gyn. I am happily married and have the option of seeing any of about 200 ob/gyn doctors in my city. Reading some of these posts makes me cringe.

Not all doctors are the same. Some of the people posting here seem to think that all doctors are interchangeable. All are teachers, or hairdressers, or parents the same? For example, you can be a very compassionate doctor and be a horrible surgeon. Who here would choose a woman ob/gyn over a man when the man is much more qualified to do a technically difficult delivery or surgery. Is your baby's life worth your modesty?

I have never heard a male ob/gyn make crude or inappropriate comments about a patient, but I have heard several female physicians (including some ob/gyn's), make crude comments about a patient's weight, hygiene, or social status. One female ob/gyn told me that "women who have epidurals are wimps" and another told me she is disgusted with examining overweight patients.

While there probably are some male (and female!) ob/gyn's who are stimulated by looking at or examining patients, it's just not a sexually stimulating environment. I'm friends with some ob/gyn's and they are embarrassed when a patient comes on to them. They are there to prevent or cure diseases, not get a date.

If you are too modest to go to a male ob/gyn, or your religious beliefs prohibit this, then that's great. But please don't make statements like other women are "sad" or want to be dominated because they choose a male physician. Those are just really ridiculous statements! To each her own. You have no right to criticize someone making a choice that they feel is best for their health. Like someone else wrote here, male ob/gyn physicians have saved millions of women's lives over the years. My doctor was instrumental in saving my baby from a very, very difficult delivery. He's much more understanding (and gentle) than the 5 female ob/gyn physicians I have seen over the years. In our 5-doctor group (all women), 4 of us see him, not because we have some secret desire to be "dominated" but because we have chosen the best doctor we can find to take care of our health.

Anonymous said...

First of, I am an undergrad doing research on ob/gyn I came across this blog and I loved the perspective of a wife. Thank you for your time to write this.

But when I reached down to the comments I am astonished to read such absurdities. I never post comments on any discussion board, since I don't have the time to do it. But people are just plain stupid here.
Men or women does not matter, no it is not like being a mechanic without having a car. Much less is like being a women coaching football.
These people fit the asshole gender role pretty well. Because writing an opinion on something you know nothing about seems... idk how to put it. idiotic. keep your opinions to you and your dumb significant other!

It is like being a good doctor and doing what you love!!! no matter what sex you are or background.

Sharon said...

I am a female doctor just about to finish my specialisation in Ob/Gyn and to the ignorant/unprepared/incompetent student above who think patients have no say on the gender of their doctor I say he is totally IGNORANT OF THE MEDICAL CODE, which establish the patient's rights to have respected his sense of privacy, dignity and autonomous choice.

As doctors we are called to serve patients and respect their feelings, privacy and dignity wherever they come from, not to insult patients because they prefer one gender over another.

You are not fit to be a student of medicine, let alone a doctor, and if I knew your name I would have already reported you to the medical board.

Your words just demonstrate why men are unfit to be in this field. You practice medicine and ob/gyn for your pleasure and not for the patient's healthcare and have no regard for their feelings, dignity and sense of privacy, I do hope you will never graduate, because if you ever became an Ob/Gyn you will certainly malpractice it.

Sharon said...

To the other doctors above who wrote false statistics I would like to tell: study better and be more trustworthy and intellectually honest, because you too are not giving good information to patients.

Most of the Ob/Gyn practice has nothing to do with emergency cases and most patients do feel more protected, and respected their dignity and privacy with same gender doctors, especially for non-problematic births, for standard annual exams etc, where any good doctor can perform an excellent service.

Gender becomes less important only in extremely problematic cases which require complicated surgeries or in emergency, in all the others there is no need to sacrifice neither the privacy, nor the modesty.

The enormous booming of only-women practices of ob/gyn, of increase in new female graduates in the field, and the parallel loss of jobs by male doctors who are being also paid lower salaries (having less clients) demonstrate that women, when they have a choice, prefer women and value privacy and modesty for themselves, and their partners.

All the statistics above are made up as the fact that privacy, modesty and dignity must be sacrificed to save the life/health of women and babies. That is a clear falsity and sounds much more like propaganda written by male doctors in defence of their position, rather then genuine information to the readers. Consistently, it should be marked as such

Anonymous said...

I'm an office manager for an ob/gyn practice and am shocked by the comments here. We have 5 women and 5 men and 2 midwives. The men never bring drama to the office, never refuse to see a late patient because they have to pick up their child from school, never snap at the office staff without reason, and are usually nicer than our female doctors. I was a big advocate of women ob/gyn doctors when I was younger, but after suffering from a difficult case of endometriosis that was not managed correctly by a series of female doctors, I was cured by an incredibly compassionate and understanding male ob/gyn.

I asked one of our "guys" today about this blog and he explained that it's like a light switch. You easily turn it off when you leave for work, and turn it on when you are with your wife. He said it's not that different from giving his wife and little girl a kiss goodnight. Same concept, very different process. He also said that there is a tremendous amount of honor that goes with treating patients, delivering their babies, and doing surgery, and that thinking of a patient in non-professional terms would be a complete violation of the trust patients place in him.

Ladies, please get a grip. Choose your doctor by skill, personality, and professionalism, not gender, race, ethnicity, religion or anything else that has nothing to do with skill and ability.

Medical Patient Modesty said...


A woman can be guaranteed a female ob/gyn for emergencies if she chooses an all female ob/gyn practice. See an article we wrote at http://patientprivacyreview.blogspot.com/2012/03/same-gender-maternity-care-by-misty.html.

I would love to hear from you. We are seeking female ob/gyns to volunteer their time to help Medical Patient Modesty.

Anonymous said...

Your little story portrays justification for men to penetrate womens sex organ with finger and instrument, I find it difficult to believe that you think he never gets aroused/erection, I can tell you he does....at some point, a perverse choice of work for money.


Anonymous said...

We consult doctors for their expert medical advice and to seek their treatment in an effort to help heal our illnesses and injuries. But shocking as it may sound, sometimes doctors, nurses and other health care providers see this as an opportunity to take advantage of their patients sexually. Sexual predators exist in all walks of life and in all vocations and the medical profession is no exception. Whenever there is an imbalance of power in a professional relationship, there is an enhanced opportunity for others to take advantage of the situation. Especially considering the special level of trust that patients and doctors usually have, the problem is even more troubling and the opportunities for inappropriate events are greatly multiplied.


Anonymous said...

I feel that new medical students need to be made aware that this is a BIG issue for a lot of patients, even though their patient, or their husband may seem ok after an intimate procedure or examination, he probably isn’t, but chooses to stay quiet.

First is the doctor/patient imbalance of power (especially when it’s a female patient and a male doctor) she probably looks at him as an ‘authority figure’ and does not question any thoughts, motives, or actions. Women have been taught from their mothers and grandmothers that the male doctor is the only male alive that can turn off from being male during an intimate examination or procedure. I feel that this idea has also been relayed to husbands and boyfriends too, who from what I have found, for the most part, choose to ‘suffer in silence’ rather than make an issue of, mainly due to male pride and machoism (as men, generally, we do not want to admit that there is a problem that we are having a hard time in handling).

At every intimate female exam, or procedure, the doctor should raise the issue and ask if a female provider would be ‘preferred choice’. If this does not happen and the woman or couple can feel intimidated into accepting the male provider. Later, the relationship can suffer due to the invasion of the intimate space between the husband and wife. I know first hand of several relationships that have ended because of this, and I’m sure that if the truth was really known many relationships suffer everyday from this. A gynecologist should not send a woman home with the cost of a broken intimate relationship.


Anne said...

I agree with Marty.
When I had to do my first exam, they sent me directly to a male doctor without even asking me if I was ok with it. I was 25 yo and I was very embarrassed and I was very uncomfortable to have to allow that guy, who looked as young as I was to see my private parts, open them and touch them.
He told me to relax, that he did it a lot of times, etc etc. He performed a smear test and a bi-manual examination on me, in the presence of another lady.
My boyfriend arrived at the last minute that the guy had already performed the procedure and he recognised he was not even a doctor but a male medical student who he knew because he had played football with him several times. We immediately called his supervisor and his supervisor apologised for not introducing him before as a student and he said he sent him, as he has to practice pap-tests etc. The supervisor left this male student with a female student to keep an eye on him and this is the result: This male student and his male doctor took advantage of the asymmetry of information and power, and did not inform me that it was my right to have a fully qualified doctor and that it was my right to choose a woman for that exam, if so I wished.
Later we reported both the male student and his male supervisor to the medical board, and the medical board told us that this is a very common issue, because medical schools are aware that when patients are given the possibility to make an informed choice male students are refused in 99% of the cases, but if they are caught off guard most women feel intimidated and are not able to openly refuse the provider who they are sent to. We also discovered that the bi-manual exam was not necessary for my smear test, so he abused the position.
Despite it was not for my fault, the event created a serious wound to the relationship with my bf. He told me “I know that guy for going to clubs and pubs with him and making jokes and comments about the boobs, the asses and the legs of girls we met, for trying to sleep with them, and for being regularly dumped as he was quite gross. I can’t imagine, the day after he enters the hospital and he’s an angel, with no instincts, not sexual thoughts or desires”. This affected a lot our intimacy: he used to kiss me a lot down there, but since the event happened he started to feel sick any time he got down there and he looked in-between my legs. He told me, that now the beautiful sensation of seeing and touching my sex, was mixed with the certainty that if that guy was like him, he surely found my sex as attractive and sexy as he did, and the fact he touched it and stared at it from so close, made it so “sexually violating”, that he felt sick.
We are now six months after the event and he is still sick about this and our relationship is completely devastated by this event.

Marty said...

Thanks so much for your reply Anne, I'll give you our story. The situation made me very ill...

My wife had an infertillity investigative laparoscopy. The nurse told us that she would be with my wife throughout the procedure, anyway after witnessing a doctor exiting the theare gyrating his hips I made a complaint and it turns out that my Wife was in theatre alone/aneathsitised, legs open with a team of 5 men and no other woman! She was in there 30 mins longer than predicted and I was given no explanation for that either? I can only conclude that she was abused as I was offered no explanation or apology. I became very ill after all this, to this day it feels to me like my wife was raped by 5 masked men.

Marty said...

Please don't let that monster split you up!

Marty said...

I went to the doctor as I felt so ill, he referred me for psycho sexual counseling which is actually for sex pests!

Marty said...

On January 30, 2013 at 8:20 PM Anonymous said...

"Thousands of male ob/gyn physicians have saved millions of women over the years, some by doing basic research, others by working 80 hour weeks, caring for your families while spending time away from theirs. The worst outcome from the ignorance shown here is that many highly qualified male medical students will not pursue ob/gyn, and many of those students might make huge contributions to women's health."

Women doctors are capable of saving women patients and if women were given more freedom to become doctors then Dr. Papaincolau may have been a woman rather than a man. Don't you think that other men have to work? Why do you expect people to be grateful that you've spent time away from your family to earn a living? I do hope that male medical students are discouraged from their pursuit of ob/gyn and modern intelligent women are encouraged resulting in more gender choice for gender sensitive patients.

Anonymous said...

Marty- You're missing the point. Male ob/gyns have saved millions of women because of their research and dedication. Some people on this blog have accused male ob/gyns of choosing this specialty because of a need to dominate women or achieve sexual satisfaction from treating and examining their patients.

My argument is that all ob/gyn physicians, just like other doctors, choose their speciality because they are committed to excellence, regardless of gender. Your argument that women have not been given freedom to choose medicine is inaccurate: the majority of medical school students are women. Surveys show that 20% of women prefer a male gynecologist, 40% prefer a woman, and 40% don't care either way. Despite your posts, most women (60%) are not "gender sensitive" and you should quit projecting your beliefs on everyone else. A lot of women just want the best doctor they can find, and do not have any gender hangups.

Anonymous said...

I believe that the reason for the 40% 'don't care either way' is through lack of education about the true nature of man. Nothing wrong with the nature of man, just not suitable for gynecology.

Anonymous said...

Marty- I don't think anyone over the age of 16 is confused about the "nature of man." It's much more likely that women who prefer a male, or don't care either way, just want the best health care possible. They are mature enough not to be bigoted about their health care providers, and recognize that excellence is not related to gender, religion, ethnicity, age, etc.

Amanda said...

If you must know, a big percentage of those women who prefer male doctor or don't care, may also do so for all the wrong reasons: Some of my female friends chose an Ob/Gyn because he was super-handsome (has that anything to do with excellence?), some others "because male gynos give u all the time and the attentions you want, and if you ask some medicines and painkillers they don't question you, because having never experienced menstrual cramps, they believe in anything you say, so they don't refuse you anything". Is that excellence?
Some women choose males because they are homophobic, i.e. they are disgusted to be touch by another woman, and they are used and prefer to be touched by a man. Is that excellence?
Some women go to a male gyno because he regularly performs bi-manual examinations and he gives a "full service", while a woman wouldn't do so. Is that excellence?

By the way, scientific research shows that man and women think of sex many tens of times every day in all contexts and settings. Where do u have the switch to turn on/off your sexual thoughts? Given that you are so excellent, why don't you reveal your secret to the rest of the scientific world, may be they'll give you a Nobel price for that excellence.

Amanda said...

To the lady who wrote the following bullshit:

I asked one of our "guys" today about this blog and he explained that it's like a light switch. You easily turn it off when you leave for work, and turn it on when you are with your wife. He said it's not that different from giving his wife and little girl a kiss goodnight. Same concept, very different process."

I would like to tell:

Given that all the medical schools are bound to teach that it is very likely for medical doctors to experience attraction for some of their patients and that vice versa some of the patients may likely experience attraction towards their doctors, the doctor you are exalting was dishonest and is violating the medical code. Why don't you give us his name and surname, so we can go with him in front of the medical board to see if he dares to repeat male doctors possess the secret skill to switch on/off their sexual attraction.

Anonymous said...

Hard to believe that people think male doctors don't get turned on putting fingers into a female vagina,anyone believes that are in deniel and from the planet zod.

Anonymous said...


I am sorry that you can't have a mutually respectful discussion. Obviously this is an emotional subject for you. I'm the office manager and what I wrote was not illogical or unreasonable. Our schedulers hear a lot of comments from patients about why they are choosing one of our doctors over another. Here are the reasons, in the order my schedulers gave me as what they think are the most to least common. BTW, we see about 30,000 patients a year, so while this is not scientific, I think it has merit.

1. Wants the best doctor available.
2. Wants a specific doctor (ie Dr. Jones).
3. Wants a doctor who "specializes" in her condition.
4. Wants the first available doctor.
5. Wants a doctor of a specific gender (more often a woman, but quite often a man).

I then asked why would someone choose a man over a woman:

1. Men are more gentle (usually a bad experience with a former female physician).
2. Men are more understanding.
3. The last woman I saw was rushed or seemed distracted.
4. Too many rescheduled appointments for the female doctor(s).
5. Don't like another woman looking at me down there.
6. Don't like another woman judging me (I found this one the most interesting).
7. Worried about a doctor being a lesbian (also really interesting, and thankfully not commonly mentioned by our patients).

Amanda and your posse, before you jump all over me, please take a deep breath and remember that these are not my opinions. They are what my experienced and non-biased scheduling staff report. I am not an advocate for men or women, but I do find that all of the doctors I have worked with have been great, and no patient has ever expressed concern that any of them, men or women, did or said anything inappropriate. I disagree with almost everything you have written. If you have something logical and thoughtful to comment about, I'm happy to listen to you. But don't come at us with unsubstantiated opinions that you are passing off as facts. It must be very hard to go through life always worrying that people are getting turned on when they are trying to take care of you.

Finally, the "medical board" is not interested in doctors who are *not* sexually stimulated by patients. That's what they want. i can just see it now: "Doctor Smith is here because he wants to report that he has never been turned on by a patient." That would be an interesting (but short) meeting.

Marty said...

RE: February 18, 2013 at 3:38 PM
Anonymous said...

"Amanda... Finally, the medical board is not interested in doctors who are *not* sexually stimulated by patients. That's what they want. i can just see it now: "Doctor Smith is here because he wants to report that he has never been turned on by a patient." That would be an interesting (but short) meeting."

What are you saying? The whole issue isn't of concern to the medical board? The fact that studies imply that male doctors do in-fact get sexually aroused whilst performing intimate examinations on women that they find visually attractive? You think this is OK? Even when the patient is someone's Wife, someone's Mother, someone's Daughter? The Doctor lusting over this unsuspecting innocent woman? If a Male Doctor feels ANY arousal or sexual excitement during an intimate examination then I see the examination as sexual assault. I also believe that it is IMPOSSIBLE for a natural male to switch off from sexual arousal during such an intimate examination and NO it's different to kissing your Daughter goodbye etc, or even kissing the Wife goodbye for that matter, I personally don't become aroused when I kiss my Wife goodbye, however if I stuck my two fingers into her Vagina (like during a pelvic examination) then I most DEFINITELY WOULD!

Marty said...

Sometimes... honour, integrity and modesty are more important than anything else.

Qualified Opinion said...

So in this blog we have an anonymous person who reports false statistics which are clearly made up by herself/himself in the desperate attempt to defend male doctors and male gynaecologists from genuine expressions of outrage and discomfort from many women and corresponding husbands/partners.

By reporting the following, she aims (vainly, because readers are not idiots) to give the readers a picture of the average opinion of gynaecological patients: "I'm the office manager and what I wrote was not illogical or unreasonable. Our schedulers hear a lot of comments from patients about why they are choosing one of our doctors over another. Here are the reasons, in the order my schedulers gave me as what they think are the most to least common. BTW, we see about 30,000 patients a year, so while this is not scientific, I think it has merit".

Given that the statistics she provided strongly differe from the official statistics published in medical research, I would invite this writer, if she actually is the manager she declares to be, to provide all the readers of this blog with the name of her prestigious 30000-patients practice, so that her results can be verified and she can demonstrate to the readers that the information she provides is unbiased and grounded on a serious analysis of data. Alternatively, she has no credibility and her statistics must be considered completely made up and finalised only to male propaganda in favour of male gynaecologists. Consequently she deservers the disrespect, discredit, and insults she brought on herself.

Further, given that she (or he) declares that the fact that a male gynaecologist providing unscientific/inaccurate/false/inappropriate information about his personal sexual feelings (or lack of) is not of interest of the general medical council because it is legitimate, we would like to give her the chance to demonstrate this to the the readers of this blog: She can provide us the full name (and licence number) of the doctor who made such a statement, so we can report the event to the General Medical Council, and if she is right, then the GMC will dismiss our report as irrelevant. If she does not report us the doctor's full name, all the readers can conclude and will have evidence that either of these two things is correct: the information that male doctors can switch off ther sexual attraction is made-up/false/imaccurate, or neither her, nor the male doctor who made that statement are honest and trustworthy because they cannot stand by their own statements and take full responsibility for their declarations.

Also in this case the writer of such information deserves the discredit/ disrespect/ distrust and insults she brings on herself, by attempting to deceive the less educated and the weakest readers of the blog. Shame on her/him whoever such anonymous writer is.

Qualified Opinion said...

Given there is many incorrect/false information on this website, especially provided in the attempt to give a distorted representation of male doctors as “Neutral-Gender” or “Asexual” beings, gifted with the ability to switch on/off their human feelings/emotions/sensations during office time, I believe it is opportune once again to make reference to information published in official documents (see my earlier posts for other reliable references to medical publications)
The following is an extract from an official document from The Council For Health Care Regulatory Excellence of the United Kingdom, which clearly acknowledges that medical students, medical doctors and health professional in general are not different from any other human beings when it comes to sexual attraction. The only difference between health professionals and other “lay men and women” is limited to the following: given that health professionals have are in a position of power which they can exploit for sexual interests they have a legal obligation not act on their sexual attraction towards patients even when the patient reciprocates and would consent to a sexual intercourse.
Please find below and extract from the publication "Learning about sexual boundaries between healthcare professionals and patients: a report on education and training” published by CHRE (2008):

"Medical students must be taught that there is nothing unusual or abnormal about having sexualised feelings towards certain patients, but that failing to identify these feelings and acting on them is likely to result in serious consequences for their patients and themselves.
Students and healthcare professionals should be made aware that while it is not unusual to find patients or their carers sexually attractive, it is the healthcare professional’s duty never to act on these feelings and to ensure appropriate action is taken to avoid a breach of sexual boundaries.
If a healthcare professional is sexually attracted to a patient and is concerned that it may affect their professional relationship with them, they should ask for help and advice from a colleague or appropriate body in order to decide on the most professional course of action to take.
If, having sought advice, the healthcare professional does not believe they can remain objective and professional, they must:
* find alternative care for the patient
* ensure a proper handover to another
healthcare professional takes place
* hand over care in a way that does not make the patient feel that they have done anything wrong.
All health professionals are likely, in the course of their career, to encounter patients or carers who are unable or unwilling to recognise the limits of sexual boundaries essential for an effective professional relationship. When this happens, the patient may misconstrue professional care and compassion, for something else. This may result in patients projecting feelings of love or sexual attraction onto their healthcare professional."
Developing awareness about the Dynamic of Patient-Doctor relationship is the duty not only of healthcare professionals, but also of patients: It is in fact essential to timely recognise, and prevent sexual exploitation from the doctor. The key point is that the CHRE establishes that dealing with this situation is always the healthcare professional’s responsibility. For this reason, any denial of the fact that both patients and doctors are, due to their own human nature, potentially susceptible to experience sexual attraction, arousal and even feelings during intimate examinations, is not on only very unscientific, and very intellectually dishonest, but it is a severe offence of the supreme value of their human dignity: Neither the patients stop being human and become a simple combination of tissues, nerves and bones when they enter a medical room, nor the medical doctors get magically transformed into robots and lose their human nature when they wear their white coat.

Qualified Opinion said...

Unfortunately many doctors fail to keep up with the standards and the rules of their profession. These are the doctors like those who have been posting on this website. Those who are in denial and who are not able to recognised and deal with their sexual feelings or their patients' sexual feelings.

A medical doctor who is in denial of his sexual nature is unfit to be a gynaecologist. Women who fail to recognise their doctors human (hence sexual) nature, are more vulnerable to sexual exploitations.
Obstetrician-gynecologists assist women as they pass through adolescence; grow into maturity; make choices about sexuality, partnership, and family; experience the sorrows of reproductive loss, infertility, and illness; and adapt to the transitions of midlife and aging.

The practice of obstetrics and gynecology includes interaction at times of intense emotion and vulnerability for the patient and involves both sensitive physical examinations and necessary disclosure of especially private information about symptoms and experiences. When doctors are unable to deal with their own sexual feelings and the patients sexual feelings, violations always occur:There is an extremely long stream of medical literature which documents the extremely high frequency with which male doctors take advantage of their position to build a sexual relationship, in such papers it is also explained that mere mutual consent is rejected as a justification for sexual relations with patients because the disparity in power, status, vulnerability, and need make it difficult for a patient to give meaningful consent to sexual contact or sexual relations. Any form of sexual contact, even consensual, between patients and doctors is classified as a violation of the patient, and and a sexual exploitation."American Medical Association reports that the percentage of physicians who
have crossed sexual boundaries with patients may be as high as 10%...Violations of sexual boundaries between a provider and his or her patient include beginning a personal relationship
during or after treatment, engaging in sexual activity, discussing sexual matters that are not relevant to treatment,
using “off color” humor or telling “dirty jokes”, or repeatedly engaging in prolonged conversation about personal
matters unrelated to treatment" (i.e. engaging in relationships beyond the professional doctor-patient one).
Authoritative medical research reports that 9.7% of medical doctors breached sexual boundaries and of this 9.7% , 93.2% are male doctors (see Gartrell NK, Milliken N, Goodson WH, et al. Physician-patient sexual contact. Prevalence and problems. West J Med. (3rd) 1992;157:139–143). Other studies report a slighter overall percentages, but still extremely high: 7.2% of medical doctors breached sexual boundaries and of this 7.2%, 100% are male doctors (see Kardener SH, Fuller M, Mensh IN. A survey of physicians’ attitudes and practices regarding erotic and non-erotic contact with patients. Americal Journal of Psychiatry. 1973;130:1077–1081.)

Qualified Opinion said...

Further studies show that Medical Students "find it very difficult to consider female genital display and manipulation in the medical context as entirely separate from sexual acts and their accompanying fears. Buchwald's lists of fears makes explicit the perceived connection between a pelvic examination and a sexual act. "A fear of the inability to recognize pathology" also reflects a fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, an actual worry expressed by some of Buchwald's student doctors. Likewise, "a fear of sexual arousal" makes explicit the connection between the pelvic exam and various sexual acts. Buchwald notes that both men and women are subject to this fear of sexual arousal. "A fear of being judged inept" signals a kind of "performance anxiety," a feeling common in both inexperienced and experienced clinical and sexual performers. "A fear of disturbance of the doctor-patient relationship" recognized the existence of a type of "incest taboo" within the pelvic exam scenario." ( see Public Private Performing gynecology from both ends of the speculum (Duke University Press, 1997. ISBN: 0-8223-1921-7).

In an article published on the Canadian Journal of Family phisicians (The other side of the speculum by Brent Thoma) the male medical student reports his projections about what goes through the mind of female patients when he enters the room for a smear test and they hear for the first time He will perform the exam (he does not inform them it is their right to choose a female doctor): "you enter the room and note the inevitable inaudible groan from the hapless female. There are a number of variations on this groan, depending on the patient’s age:

The young teenager: “Aghh!! A boy!?!?!” followed by immediately looking at the ground."

The old teenager: “Omigod. I, like, totally can’t believe that this, like, totally random dude is going to see my vajayjay! I’ve got to text [best friend]. Wait ... he’s kind of cute.” (this is a clear sexual projection of the future doctor)

The 20- to 30-year-old woman: “AWKWARD.”

The 30- to 45-year-old woman: “Ugh, a student ... and a male student! Just my luck, he probably hasn’t even found a vagina yet.”

The > 45-year-old woman: “Hahaha, oh, a young buck!” ...

He then continues: "the trick is to keep the patient comfortable by explaining the procedure to them as you do it. This provides an unfortunate opportunity for your voice to crack while saying, “Just let your legs fall apart.” The attendings seem to have mastered saying these things with the tone used in those Philadelphia Cream Cheese heaven commercials. Unfortunately for me, I just can’t say “Now I’m going to insert the speculum into your vagina” in that tone—no matter how many times I practise in front of the mirror".....Then he comments on all the forms and sizes of females he sees (in contrast with what the fake manager above was trying to tell us, that male doctors do not make comments about female aspects). He in fact reports " Unfortunately, there is a huge variety of female anatomy. There are women of all shapes, sizes, and grooming preferences". It must be noticed that once again the "grooming preferences" is another sexual reference to whether the woman has her sex shaved, groomed or untidy.

Finally, Mr (and future Dr) Thoma declares in conclusion that during his first attempt to to a smear test, the woman "laughed through the procedure because I was so “cute and awkward.” Which is a clear evidence of a violation of sexual boundaries: A woman telling to the male doctor who is inserting a speculum in her sex that he is Cute.

Qualified Opinion said...

Another example of violation of sexual boundaries comes from the article of From Amy Wallen who wrote “Unconventional relationships: He’ll respect my vagina in the morning”
In her article the writer states:
“The 20-year relationship I have had with my gynecologist is not like other women’s. Mine is special, unique, and validated. Let me be clear, my gynecologist is male …He’s chairman of gynecology and obstetrics at one of the top clinics in the United States, Scripps Clinic)… and he understands me like no man ever has…..
I go to the doctor’s office faithfully, take off every stitch of clothing except my socks (metal stirrups are cold!), lie back on the paper-coated table, and well, spread ‘em…..

I know I’m lucky: Many women on that table are getting bad news instead of compliments about their cervix. There are three very important reasons I love my gynecologist:

1. He has the ability to save my life. White horse/white coat.
2. When I was 45, he told me I had the cervix of a 32-year-old.
3. He puts funny posters on the ceiling of the examination room

For one three-minute moment, once a year, a man got me 100%. My doctor’s professionalism and splendid bedside manner, which includes the funny signs, made my 20 years of exams not only bearable, but somewhat pleasurable. Rarely can a woman say that about her gynecologist.

But last month, with the wax paper crinkling beneath me as I laid back, I looked up and the posters were gone. I nearly slammed my knees together in response to the betrayal.
My doctor explained, and I swear I could hear a tremor in his voice, that just weeks before, another patient had come in and seen the posters and considered them unprofessional. This fusspot of a patient had apparently stormed down to the administration offices and complained.

I know I’m lucky: Many women on that table are getting bad news instead of compliments about their cervix.

I will go to the top to see that these posters are returned. I won’t let yet another relationship with my man be sullied by another woman." From Amy wallen.
The latest article shows a clear case of breach of sexual boundaries and of sexual exploitation. This woman had a recognisable (from a mile) emotional attachment to her doctor and sexualised behaviour, yet the doctor (who by the way is chairman of gynecology and obstetrics at one of the top clinics in the United States, Scripps Clinic), apart from making inappropriate sexual compliments, kept this patient for over 20 years, allowing this patient to remain completely naked for all the examination (sexual exploitation). The medical general council instead establishes that the medical doctor should: “keep the discussion relevant and avoid unnecessary personal comments”, “Give the patient privacy to undress and use drapes to maintain patient’s privacy and Keep the patient as covered as possible”
All this evidence gives a clear portrait that the Angelic view of male doctors as Asexual/Neutral-Gender beings, who do not make comments on the shape/size/appearance of the woman is false. There is concrete evidence that doctors do not separate completely between sexual acts and intimate exams, clearly notice the aspect of the woman, including her grooming in the genital area, irresponsibly keep active the patient-doctor relationship even when there is evidence of sexualised behaviour.

Marty said...


'Men' are 'Men'!

Yes... even doctors!

God created us Men this way to ensure procreation of the Human Species.

Ladies... if you go to a male doctor or gynecologist for a pelvic or intimate examination you are being disloyal to your Husband as it is impossible for him to 'switch off' if he likes the look of you.

Can you live with that???

Could he continue to live with you if he really knew the truth of the matter?

Why not simply choose a female doctor if the examination is going to be intimate?

Michael said...

I've noticed that female nurses are quite defensive of male gynecologists and male doctors that perform intimate examinations.

I've ponder this...

I wonder if after the doctor has performed the intimate examination the nurse then gets to relieve him!?

Maybe why she approves?

Just a thought.

Mark said...

My Wife and I went through the IVF procedure (also funded by the NHS trust). We had a similar situation to yourself Gary. We felt 'under pressure' to accept whatever help we were given and 'choice' of doctor gender would have delayed the process loads as it isn't just a matter of 'natural feminine cycles'(creating a window every month), it's a case of being put back to the start of a VERY long waiting list once again. We already waited four years for the treatment, therefore felt 'obligated' to snap up whatever was on offer by whoever was available. I found it awful and wouldn't want to go through it again, there were so many doctors involved, some female and some male. Both had to do very intimate examinations and procedures on my Wife and the ones performed by the male doctors upset me immensely although I found I had no problem with the female doctors doing such things in any way, that felt kind of natural to me. I don't fully understand why? But the male doctor 'interventions' sickened me to the point of being upset for a few weeks after each procedure or examination. Hope this helps and clarifies a few things from a couple that have recently been through the NHS fertility system here in the UK. A complete minefield.

Mark said...

(the above post was a reply to this...)

"Sounds like they are holding you to ransom to achieve pregnancy their way, rather than abiding by NHS rules of doctor gender. Plus there is a window every month to conceive. Personally I couldn't cope with the situation,good luck if you can.The doctors like to believe they have you over a barrel,to get what you want."

Lucy and Jacob said...

We are a couple from London. We have just read this blog today.
We make all our decisions together and we decided together to opt for a female doctor for intimate examinations because my sweet hubby would feel very uncomfortable with another man (especially a young one) watching me without underwear in the same position I lie on the bed to allow him to make love to me.
I (the wife) found it pretty honest when my husband told me that it would sicken him to see another man inserting his fingers in my vagina for a bi-manual examination or in my anus for a rectal examination, let alone inserting a speculum inside an opening my vagina wide...That must be pretty upsetting to watch...
I know he loves me very much and in case there was an emergency first doctor first regarding of the gender, but when there is no emergency and there is time to choose why should a woman give her husband a slap on the face and intentionally choose a male doctor? Especially if you husband expressed a discomfort for this. I also think that it is an offence to the dignity of any husband to tell him that a male doctor is superior to him as he can handle all women without ever being aroused.
I personally find it very ridiculous when I read some women who want to teach a man how men think. What do they know?! They don’t have testosterone, don’t have erections, they don’t know how a male orgasm feel, how can they know what a men feel when they see naked women?
A woman trying to explain a man how men feel is like a man trying to explain a woman how menstrual cramps feel. They don’t know what they are talking about. If so many men tell that men do not completely switch off, and especially if your husband tells you so as well, why should a woman keep insisting that she knows better?
Do you really think your husband want you to get sick? he loves you and he just wants to protect you from those guys who pretend to be super-men and to be so used to see women, that they can see how many as they want because they have super-control powers.
I hope to have a baby soon. I am sorry to read that freedom of choice is not always guaranteed by NHS. I have read on many websites that many hospitals do not guarantee that women can always choose their doctor. It is actually very sad that if a person/couple is in need and has to go to give birth or needs IVF treatments She/they have to accept whoever is available because hospitals do not guarantee freedom of choice 24/7. If freedom of choice was always available then hospitals would see immediately whether female patients prefer females or males for intimate exams. However if a hospital does not have enough female doctors to satisfy the demand, then of course females/couples have to accept, forced by needs and circumstances to have male doctors. But this is unfair, we pay taxes for the NHS, we have right of choice.

Michael said...

Hi Lucy and Jacob...

With regards to this part of your comment with regards to the insult to the husband when a male performs an intimate examination on his Wife:

"...a male doctor is superior to him (the husband) as he can handle all women without ever being aroused."

That is a VERY insightful comment, I was wondering what else was bugging me with regards to the female patient/male doctor relationship when it comes down to intimate examinations.

Yes... of course, I agree, a man would have to be 'Superman' to be able to control arousal during an intimate examination of a naked woman that he found attractive. That does put him in a superior position to the 'little' 'inferior' husband waiting... worried, whilst his wife obediently submits to the male doctor, undresses to his command, then opens her legs when he asks and as he is so powerful and in control, he doesn't even get aroused, such strength must be quite attractive to any fertile woman. How could she possibly resist a very well paid, educated doctor, with SO much control over his own passions?

No wonder the poor husband is left feeling so bad and insecure!

Lizzie said...

I like women gynos cuz they KNOW what I'm going through. NO man will ever know the pain a woman feels on a period, or having a baby. Also, what woman would want to marry a man that looks at vaginas for a living?
It is a fact that there are a lot of women who are goodlooking. Does this women who opened this blog really believe that her husband is the only man in the world who is never attracted to any women but her?
Men I know, also those married, make comments on other women, on their breasts and asses.
Many men look at porn movies. It is sufficient to go on porn websites to see women with spread legs and they masturbate to them.
So the husband of this blogger never watch a porn? never masturbate himself? mmmmh it does not really convince me....

I have read some women saying male are more gentle and more compassionate...Yeah, so? Also the men who like you and want to take you to bed are sweet, nice, and make you feel at ease....Men are usually sweeter and kinder to women than to men, and women usually like men for that reason...But those are all indication that this preferences are all sexually based....

just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Just a thought ? thousands of male doctors are in court for sexually abusing women. So definitley do not get aroused, pressing fingers into women vagina LOL LOL LOL.

Strange thing, women fall for it.

James said...

WASHINGTON - Former patients of a gynecologist linked to secret recordings have responded to the shocking allegations with visits to counselors and lawyers.

Johns Hopkins OB/GYN Dr. Nikita Levy had a medical practice dating back to 1988. He was fired Feb. 8 in connection with using personal equipment to take pictures and videos of his patients.

Investigators say it will be a lengthy process to determine who - and how many - patients were photographed and recorded.

It's also unclear whether Levy shared any of those images before killing himself last week.

More than 2,000 women have already called the police hotline.

If interested you can watch the videonews on video at the following link


Luke said...

I went to an old friends house today, his son was visiting also, he brought his girlfriend along to meet me. She was 17 and very cute, I couldn't help but notice. Her eyes were blue, jet black long thick hair, perfect body, she was wearing tight (almost sprayed on) pants, her legs and thighs were absolute perfection. I didn't stare for long as that would have been rude but I admit that I noticed her beauty, I am a hetrosexual male, who like me wouldn't? I don't feel ashamed, that's nature but I couldn't help thinking how her doctor may feel if he were male and she was there, naked from the waist down, legs open, awaiting a pap\smear or even a pelvic examination?! There is NO WAY that he would not be blown away! I felt it would have been wrong to take a 2nd look at her fully clothed but to open her naked vagina and look into it under spot light!? How can that be ok?

Jennifer - PhD in Phycology said...

There is no way I can believe a male doctor will never be aroused when examining a female patient.
He may keep his control and behave professionally, but sooner or later he will be aroused by some of his female patients.
I understand for the author of this blog, who is the wife of a male gynaecologist and lives at home all day taking care of her kid, it may be easier to think that her husband never gets aroused or never has fantasies.
However, she must accept that sexual fantasies and arousal are part of every men and every woman’s psychology and her husband is not superior to any other men when it comes to this.
The fact that your husband tells you he never does, does not mean anything. He has vested interests to defend; he is likely to lie about this:1st he wants to keep his job and 2nd he does not want to upset you.
The posts of Qualified Opinion are very well written, intellectual and make it clear what the truth about this is.
And one day even you son, when he becomes a teenager and will start experiencing sexual attraction will recognise this truth, because like all males he will start fantasising about women, watching porn or the internet and masturbating like all men.
I am a female PhD student of Psychology and I have a younger brother who is a final year student in medicine. He is no different from any other guys of his age. He watched tons of porn like all other teenager when he was younger, and when he had the first training on intimate examination he made a lot of comments at home about the fact that “unfortunately the only few ladies who allowed him to stay and practice were either old or fat” and that he hoped by the end of the course, one who was cute, preferably shaved and with big boobs….”
Did he tell this to his GF? Of course not!!!! Otherwise she would dump him. With her he plays the cool like…”yeah, when you have seen one, you have seen them all….”
I say nothing to her, because he’s my brother, and I like his girlfriend. But since you opened this blog and you wrote that men switch off, in the same way they kiss their wife and son goodbye, I felt the responsibility to write down the truth. After all I am going to be a Psychologist and I do not want any man or any woman to be manipulated psychologically into believing they are abnormal/insecure/insane because they feel that cross-gender intimate examinations also incorporate some sexual projections from the doctor to the patient and from the patient to the doctor. It is a fact which all of us, students of Psychology know very well…
I am surprised no male doctor intervened to clarify this point with intellectual honesty….

Jennifer - PhD in Psychology said...

My apologies for the mistyping above.

I am doing a PhD in Psychology,

I am just correcting this, because some ppl may attack my comment on the grounds of the typing error. So just want to be sure you know that I know it was an error and how it is spelled.


Anonymous said...


This has been a terrific blog to read and as a male medical student (happily engaged and not perverted) strongly considering OB, this is very encouraging.

To Jennifer the psychologist above. It is very interesting that your statements are based off of #1) zero scientific quality and #2) the history of your brother who "watched tons of porn like all other teenager"
Very good.

All of us are required to learn the pelvic exam and it is something that MUST be done by docs. Whether I do family practice or OB/GYN (my top 2), I will have to do this. ER docs must do this and I'm sure other specialties need to as well.

OB/GYN was one of the top 3 that I NEVER saw myself doing. But the idea of being there for a future mother and father as the miracle of life occurs..and having the opportunity to give a quick prayer for every baby I deliver...It doesn't seem like medicine can get much better than that.

Ultimately I will do what God wants me to do. But I assure you it will be in the business of saving lives and nothing else.

Mary and John said...

To the anonymous (mentally impaired) student who wrote the post just above ours, we would like to say the following things as a couple.

We agree more with the words reported in the more intellectual posts from Qualified Opinion who referred to the official extracts from the publication of The Council For Health Care Regulatory Excellence of the United Kingdom, which states that it is not unusual for health care professionals to have sexual attraction and experience sexualised feelings towards certain patients, and who in other posts on other forums quoted the words for Dr Roberts (Worldwide famous Psychotherapist) who says: "Gynaecologists often turn out to be men who like women, like women's bodies...male gynaecologist may also like, consciously or unconsciously, to indulge, for their own enjoyment, in a kind of mild flirtation with the women whose bodies they see and touch...In this regard, it is useful to remember that the sex drive in humans, having evolved over countless aeons as a powerful survival instinct, is intense and not at all monogamous....In other words, it is normal for a man to feel attracted on one level or another, and to express that attraction in various subtle ways."





It's discomforting when a woman arrives to a hospital or medical center and she is told that there is no female doctor on rotation, because the hospital decided that a male like you should be there.

If a medical center hired a male doctor like you over a female doctor, and left some hours covered only by a male professional, with no option to choose a female doctor, the medical center exposed potential female patients in need to undergo unwanted intimate exams by a male. This is an abuse on women in need.

Intimate exams by male doctors on women do constitute inherently an unnecessary, unjustified and unwanted intrusion into a woman's and a couple's privacy and should be avoided as much as possible.
As a couple, we love and respect each other, dignity and privacy.

We find it an extremely bad sign that as a future doctor you ignored the feelings of so many women and their husbands and described yourself as a Life Saver.

The majority of men, women and couples in this forum expressed strong outrage for the intrusion of male doctors into the intimacy of their couple's relationship.


Mary and John said...

















Anonymous said...

Apart from all the opinions, the reality is 100's of male doctors are in court daily for sexual abuse of females. In teaching hospital patients are gang raped under aneasthesia, trainee doctor have no specific consent for pelvic exams, but it goes on, I have links as proof. Today news..


Birgit said...

I totally agree with the two posts above...

The official motivations of these freak male students and freak male doctors are always the same:

I want to do it because I am fascinated by the miracle of life...

I want to save lives...

Yeah, right!!!!

And their way of saving lives,
only coincidentally happened to be by examining naked women, and performing female breast examinations, vaginal examinations and female anal examinations....

Officially, if you listen to them, they are all motivated by God, and they never even remotely look at women sexually....Yeah, Right!!!!



The reason why these male doctors don’t do it, is that they want to have an excuse to access women.

It's like if security men at the airport told me that they want to specialize in searching women under their clothes and their skirts because they want to protect the security of passengers…DO PASSENGERS NEED TO BE SEARCHED? YES; DO THEY NEED TO BE SEARCHED BY A PERSON OF DIFFERENT SEX, NO, BECAUSE THEY CAN BE ADDRESSED TO A SAME GENDER OFFICER.

When a male officer thinks that a woman should be searched under her clothes, the male officer calls female officers to do the search: he does not say, I have to do it myself , because I have to defend the security the lives of the passengers of this airport....

None of the officers dispute that if they cannot search women under their skirt it is because passengers are discriminatory, sexist or immature…

Only male doctors and male healthcare professionals make these kind of complaints....

Medical Professionals and especially male doctors, have to respect the fact that the normal privacy and modesty standards that people have in their daily life does not disappear because they need medical care....

Cross gender intimate examinations are not necessary, because one patient can always be referred to another same-gender professional.




They are often extremely self-focused and selfish.



Hanna said...

It was shocking for me to read the post of the male medical student who disregarded all the other posts written by women, men, and couples.

I really made me notice that male students who choose Gynecology care little or nothing at all about the feelings of those women who they declare to want to serve, and they care even less about the feelings of the husbands of those women.

It really made me think that male doctors think that having a degree in medicine means being entitled to do to patients what they want, rather than to listen to patients, provide patients with medical advice, and let patients decide whether they want to undergo medical examinations and by whom they want those examinations to be performed.

I found this a very arrogant, selfish and very self focused way to do medicine for their own glory, rather than for the good of patients.

This strengthens my idea that men are not suitable for giving intimate care to women, because they won't have respect of women's feelings and they won't have respect for their husbands' feelings.

Angela said...

I believe that those who want to represent male doctors as gender-neutral beings, who never have sexual thoughts and who never feel sexual attraction to patients are hypocrites and have vested interests, either economical (defending their job or their husband’s job) or sexual (defending their opportunity to access women).
It is obvious that male doctors are no different from any other male human being, and a lot of medical research pointed this out, as someone has already illustrated above.

For the majority of the women it is embarrassing, creepy and twisted to open their legs to a man who the night before was may be getting hard by licking and fingering his wife vagina, and the morning after wants to care for another woman's vagina, pretending that we ignore his gender and his natural sexual impulses.

May be that man got hard and aroused by linking and fingering his wife vagina just in the same morning, just a few hours before going to work and going to care for another woman’s vagina…
It is creepy and disgusting that a few hours later he is pretending to be completely immune from sexual feelings when dealing with another woman’s vagina, who may be younger, more beautiful and sexier than his wife.....

Anonymous said...

i also disagree with male ob/gyn, i think it is wrong. the last time my wife was seen by a male it took me a while to get over it and move past it.

Anonymous said...

are you aware of how much pain it causes the spouse of a female patient, knowing that another man has been intimate with her? have you ever seen the movie, "indescent proposal" with woody harrelson? same thing, very same thing. a male doctor propositioning a pateint for these pelvic and breast exams is a very "indecent proposal"

Rachel said...

I have found another report on the website of the famous journal The Independent about a family doctor:

A doctor has admitted masturbating in front of a webcam in his consultation room.

Damian Smith, 37, recorded a computer video file entitled "Me In Surgery" which showed him masturbating at the request of a woman.

He performed the sex act shortly after seeing patients in morning surgery at the Peel Medical Centre on the Isle of Man.

In the video Dr Smith is seen sitting at his surgery desk with the lights out.

"Dr Smith is seen talking to a female on the webcam," she continued. "He refers to her by her first name.

"He said this was his new place of work and then turned round the webcam to show the room.

"He placed the webcam back on the surgery desk where he then appeared to remove his trousers.

"He continued to talk and then began to indulge in sexually explicit conversation, referring to his penis. He ejaculates and then Dr Smith closes down the webcam.


Women who go to have pelvic exams by male doctors are spreading their legs to guys who are no better than any men, and who masturbate in front of sexy web-chats ...

....How are we supposed to believe that they are able to completely separate between pelvic and intimate exams in general and sexual acts....

Imagine a young beautiful woman in need of a smear test or intimate exam had arrived just after he masturbated himself or while he was horny....Are we supposed to believe he would not have sexual thoughts? Are we supposed to believe he would not make the examination last a bit longer for his own sexual gratification.

Anonymous said...

My wife left me for her OBGYN WTF!! must have liked what he saw . You women think all men do not think the same ,, get off your hrose , PROFESSIONALS MY ASS!! WAKE UP ,When he comes home he is thinking about the vag he seen and fingerd that day while hes doing you , thats why he does not look at you in the eye. Its basic instinct and attraction you cannot not turn that off!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a OBGYN male , and I enjoy my job. I like licking my tools when eveyine leaves the room . just a fetish but it hurts no one.

Anonymous said...

This blog has Been very honest and helpful. No man wants his wife examined by a male obgyn for routine well physicals. Everything said by numerous posts in this blog confirms that thought. Putting aside those women or men who enjoy the thrill of a strange man obgyn sticking their fingers inside a woman's vagina and feeling her breasts and doing an anal exam most rationale educated intelligent people know tha a male obgyn is an oxymoron for routine well visits. In a critical life or death situation most would agree you take whatever doctor is available irrespective of gender. But what most people despise is the hypocritical pompous ness of male obgyns and their families expecting the rest of us to expect that the male doctor is a super human machine who would never get aroused. Sorry folks generations of humans proves scientificallly that normal hetero men like looking and touching naked women.

Anonymous said...

I agree. That goes for female doctors too. Aside from there bring done underlying word sexual fetish with wanting to touch women and be between there legs in the name of medicine, i think its a power and control thing too. The only people i knew who became obgyn (both female) always had a word obsession/fascination with vaginas (I've known both since elementary..they've always been obsessed) they all get off to it to a certain extent. Of course they see some nasty stuff but not every patient had diseases to turn them off. You're foolish if you think he doesn't get off on legally penetrating women.

Alexia said...

The medical community often expects patients to dismiss their modesty issues within the medical setting and there are patients that want to see a change in that attitude. Many men and women have no desire for certain parts of their body to be exposed to any person of the opposite sex aside from their respective spouses. Locker rooms and public restrooms are separate for a reason and outrage would prevail if that were to change so what is so odd about modesty in the medical community? Modesty is important in all circumstances.
Think about how many husbands would be upset if another man watched their wife taking a bath or using the toilet. Or wives having another woman watch their husband using a urinal. Many husbands feel strongly that their wives' private areas should not be exposed to any other men and that includes doctors and nurses. This does not make them crazy, they simply love their wives so much that they don't want another man to see or touch these areas. They support their wives' decision to receive treatments from female doctors, midwives, and nurses for intimate procedures. The intimacy bond between a husband and a wife is very special and many believe that this area of the marital relationship is violated and compromised when they expose their private parts to a person of the opposite sex, even medical professionals.
In addition, there are single people who are committed to purity and do not want their private areas to be exposed to the opposite sex even in medical settings. Their desire is for their future spouse to be the only person of the opposite sex to see and access certain parts of their body, especially after puberty. Medical professionals are no different than ordinary people. Medical training cannot take "man" out of a male doctor.
Many patients value their modesty and do not want certain parts of their body to be exposed to the opposite sex ~ EVEN IN THE MEDICAL SETTING ~ but when voiced their concerns are often downplayed and ridiculed.
Medical professionals must be more sensitive to patients' needs for modesty.
Don't even realize how important it is to some female patients and their husbands that no males be involved in their ob/gyn care. For example, a woman and her husband requested an all female ob/gyn operating room team for his wife's hysterectomy.
I personally did not like to read the article published by Paul B. Kubin on your website who wrote ‘They say you never forget your first “real” patient. Mine was a woman who didn’t need a pelvic exam, but who got one anyway.Next door, minutes later, my second patient provided another personal first: a male genital and rectal exam, also, without need’.
Why were not the patient informed the exam was unnecessary? If they had been informed would they have accepted undergoing the exam? These are abuses of the medical profession. They clearly show lack of concern for patients’ feelings and rights.
As a woman I would feel upset if I was lied to, and tricked into doing an exam I don’t need so that a student can learn without me knowing it.
My husband would feel bad about me being so intimately accessed by a man. When it is not necessary and when a female doctor can do the exam with much more privacy for me and for him.
I don’t think you have any right to call this discrimination.




Anonymous said...

Awww hell ladies.. if you feel uncomfortable with a male doctor say something.. Would you let them cut off your arm if you thought their diagnosis was wrong? No you say you want another opinion..Same with this-say you want a female doc..Sheesh... I for one don't care for doctors, am not intimidated by them at all, and only see them when absolutely necessary (western medicine is a joke-but thats another story).. I myself never saw a male gyno-actually I only see the midwives as I find them pleasant to deal with-and this guaranteed that only a female on call would show up for my delivery. I find men in this field strange-just as strange as a woman wanting to be a urologist. Not only that but I had a friend at an obgyn office where the male docs poked fun of their patients' "haircuts", etc... yeaaaah no male docs for me.

Porn Pelvic Exam Videos Just Watch and Judge said...

There are websites which show porn videos based on pelvic exams of young women.

Please watch and convince yourself that there are indeed men who like doing this for sexual reasons.

Women who do these exams with male doctors are giving a porn show to their male doctors. Shame on them



David (UK) said...

There ARE a lot of naïve patients around today... I suspect due to a ridiculous trust of Doctors? Many of patients do not even know, or do not recognise, the difference between the Male and Female psyche, or how the opposite gender is sexually stimulated.

Mr Doctor, My Wife and I recognise your “I’ll just take little a look at that” sentence, for what it is - an attempt to brighten your day at the expense of our Marriage, a typical Male Doctor tactic wanting to take a look!

If you’re a woman who regards routine intimate examinations as ‘unpleasant’, then I'm flat out calling you a liar! If your claim were true, then most of the unnecessary practices would have been stopped years ago! And whilst I'm on the subject of intimate examinations, the Bi-Manual and Pelvic Examinations are useless at detecting disease, yet women are threatened, intimidated, and convinced to have them because they are told that they need this examination to remain healthy?

The Bi-Manual Examination (insertion of two fingers into the vagina), is such a vile and disrespectful examination and a complete joke too… Please take a look at your fingers… now tell me which one of them is longer than the bills of a Vaginal Speculum? A Medium Cusco measures 4" (101.6mm) and it takes all, or almost all of it just to view the cervix, so how do doctors think they can reach deep enough to feel (palpate) the Cervix to push and tilt the Uterus to determine disease?

Pap/Smear tests are virtually pointless too. There are too many variables within Smear Samples, making the test prone to inaccurate results from the laboratory, along with the fact that the collection process causes damage to the cells on the surface of the cervix which can mutate and even cause the exact disease that the woman is attempting to prevent – Cancer!

ksyla said...

Just type in any search engine " male doctor, sexual assault on patient" and the 1000's of results that come up illustrate why I will never take a chance with a male gyno. The bad ones spoil it for the good ones but that's life. I'm not taking the chance on giving some potential perve his jollys

Stephanie said...

You are far from stupid.... I enjoyed your post and was very interesting in a positive way. Thank You for posting your experience and more then not a females answer to a common question. :0)

Stephanie said...

They are just jealous that she has a good marriage/happy life and they dont.

Anonymous said...

I have a male ob and he always ask me would i like some one in the room wirh me wile do pelvic and or exams on genitals or my breast

Anonymous said...

I'm a male medical student, and though I don't necessarily agree that males should be kicked out of OB/GYN, I do understand that many females (and their partners!) feel uncomfortable with having a male doctor probe around in those intimate regions.
Hell, I'll even admit that I, a medical student, wouldn't be comfortable having my partner see a male OB/GYN for check ups. I have met wonderful OB/GYN doctors, both male and female, and they show nothing but the utmost respect for their profession. It isn't about the competency of the physicians, but rather the psychological and sociological boundaries we have in place on the interaction between males and females in this day and age. Of course, in any emergency situation, gender issues melt away very quickly. However, there is something that makes me uneasy about another guy having access to those delicate regions. Not to speak on her behalf, but I would assume she'd feel the same way about a female physician probing my "regions".
Also, I think it is completely and utterly unreasonable to claim that males (or better yet, humans in general) can choose to be free of any and all arousal in the workplace. With that said, I can also attest to the fact that while at work, one rarely has the time and energy to follow these "romantic" feelings. I won't sit here and tell you that I am completely blind to good-looks, but while working in the hospital, I have lots of other things on my mind that take precedence over any momentary attraction to a random patient that I may or may not see ever again after this visit.
In the end, it is about treating patients. Physicians are public servants, and many students I've met tend to forget that. If the public, or any individual patient, prefers female OB/GYN physicians, then so be it. Many of my classmates have a sense of entitlement with regards to who they get to treat. As a future doctor, I feel that I have a responsibility towards my patients to respect and honor their boundaries and wishes, regardless of whether they conflict with my own agenda of treating and preventing illness. It has already happened a few times before, and it is indeed frustrating, but it's not about me and my feelings; it's about the patient.

Martin UK said...

As Anonymous said...

"Hell, I'll even admit that I, a medical student, wouldn't be comfortable having my partner see a male OB/GYN for check ups."

I have to ask whether male doctors and OB/GYN's allow their own wives to go to other male doctors and gynecologists for intimate checkups?

PierLouis - Male Doctor said...


None of us is immune to lust and as the intelligent student pointed out none of us can turn off sexual feelings and attraction, being a natural sexual instinct.

Can you put in your mouth a good chocolate and decide that your tongue must feel it tastes like nothing? No you can't, because you cannot control how the brain perceives the taste of an aliment.

Similarly, you can't watch or touch a beautiful body and choose not to feel attracted to it. Although, you can control yourself and not speak about your sensations, in order to respect the patients.

In addition to this, male students have usually much less opportunities to access female patients for intimate exams and are more poorly trained than their equivalent female medical students. THis is valid in both undergraduate and postgraduate Obgyn specialization. It follows that male obgyns are usually more poorly trained, especially at the beginning of their career than their equivalent female colleague.

If in addition to this you consider that 85% of ob/Gyn students are female, you will realize that it is much more likely to find a good female ob/gyn than it is to find a good male ob/gyn.

It follows that in general, male doctors believe that a patient choosing a male ob/gyn for other reasons than his medical skills.

Being a male doctor, knowing how medical training goes from inside, I would be seriously concerned and unhappy about it, if my wife chose a male obgyn and especially a young one, or chose a male doctor in general for intimate examinations.

Emergency cases apart.

JW said...

Great blog Amanda! I applaud you for being so supportive of you husband.

I am a male OB/GYN. My wife is also a female OB/GYN, so unlike many of the insane people posting on here, she knows EXACTLY what my job and exams entail. She has never had a trust issue.

I am not a pervert. I do not get aroused doing my job. A clinical exam is not a sexual thing at all. Most of the people posting have not performed one and are not male physicians. Not only OB/GYN's perform pelvic exams- Primary Care, ER, Family Practice and most good thorough physicians do. Should all of these be female as well?

See whatever physician of any field that you feel comfortable with. I see the most patients in my practice despite requests to see the female docs. My wife probably gets more negative feedback because she looks young than I do for being male. I would rather you people with severe psych issues and emotional problems to see another OB/GYN anyway. For those of you normal, intelligent patients, it would be my advice to seek out someone who is competent rather than a certain ethnicity, race, gender, or sexual orientation.

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

I am a male doctor, and I disagree completely with the Male Ob/Gyn who wrote the above.

Dear Male Ob/Gyn, women who do not want you, a male doctor, to perform an exam and their corresponding partners are not insane and have not psychological issues.

You seem to have more psychological issues in expecting that people forgets their modesty and privacy issues simply because you gained a degree in medicine.

As a lady above pointed out, she has the right to receive medical care in full respect of her privacy and modesty, while you have no right to impose your professional presence over patients.

Medicine is about curing patients and taking care of patients not fulfilling the selfish professional Ego of the doctors.

In addition to this several medical research papers, published in renowned medical journals have clearly given evidence, that medical students and medical doctors do not completely separate the performance of intimate exams from sexual acts.

Do I have to remind you that the Council For Health Care Regulatory Excellence of the United Kingdom, in the publication "Learning about sexual boundaries between healthcare professionals and patients: a report on education and training” 2008) explicitly reported

"Medical students must be taught that there is nothing unusual or abnormal about having sexualised feelings towards certain patients, but that failing to identify these feelings and acting on them is likely to result in serious consequences for their patients and themselves".

Do I have to remind you that your colleague Male Gynecologist Dr Smith, in his famous international publication called Women and Doctors: A Physician's Explosive Account of Women's
Medical Treatment -- and Mistreatment -- in America Today (Atlantic Monthly
Press; $20.95) wrote the following: "Sexism, ranging from outright abuse to subtle debasement, is pervasive in
the profession"...
In his book Dr Smith recalls a colleague who invited him to do an exam on a
patient under the false guise of a consultation because "she has a body you
won't believe."...Another physician, whenever faced with an "emotional" female
patient, would draw in his notes a stick figure with a lightning bolt going
into its head and write down a nonsensical diagnosis of "zigzybiasis,"
signifying "This patient is crazy." A pediatrician habitually marked his
notes with a smiley face when a young patient had a good-looking mother"....Dr Smith also added: "a product of the
values of the male-dominated culture. "The good ole boy called Bubba who
becomes a gynecologist is simply Dr. Bubba," ....."A strong subconscious motivation for many men who choose
gynecology as a specialty is the "need to be in a powerful and controlling
relationship with women"...

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

The male Gynaecologist and writer Dr Smith also wrote: "Training doesn't root out their biases and
insensitivities. Instead, a subculture envelops them and reinforces each
other's stereotypes of patients."

A common mnemonic used in medical school
to help identify women who develop gallstones is "fat, 40, with four kids."

Dr Smith reported as well: "It took forever for me to see slender, unmarried women
as candidates for gallbladder disease." Prejudiced and mistaken notions also
can govern the treatment offered to black women, lesbians and those with a
history of venereal disease. For example, says Smith, a doctor quickly
diagnosed in a young, married black woman chronic pelvic inflammatory
disease -- an ailment that results from previous venereal infection --
though nothing in her history supported such a judgment. Actually, her
symptoms and history perfectly matched a diagnosis of endometriosis, a
different condition.
As a result of such attitudes, he argues, women are better off with women
doctors. Smith concedes that female physicians can be every bit as
domineering and money grubbing as their male colleagues and that medical
training may drain sensitivity out of some of them, but "as basic material,
they have the best opportunity for empathy. And at the least, they
understand the female body better than any man could."

The viewpoint of Dr Smith is also supported by another famous male Gynaecologist:

Dr. Nelson Soucasaux, Male Gynaecologis, wrote the following in his famous published work entitled the Psycology of Gynecology:

"A very important and totally unexplored aspect of women's medicine psychology is the one related to the real motivations....It is a very well-known fact that a great number of men have considerable psychological problems in relation to women and that the male psyche is naturally directed towards the female sex.....the knowledge and practice of medicine grant a specific "power" to the medical class (hence the origin of the frequent "fantasies of omnipotence" found in many physicians' psychology), it is also possible that some male gynecologists make use of the speciality as a way of feeling themselves exerting some "power" over the female sex...".....It has always been astonishing to me that diverse subjects related to Women's Medicine are not discussed either within Gynecology or out of it. Some of the probable reasons for this can be: 1) the incapability to perceive determined facts and/or reflect about them; 2) not wanting to admit the existence of these facts, because they are "disturbing" for the present attitude of mind of most people; 3) the interests and conveniences of the medical ideologies and beliefs that dominate Women's Medicine"....

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

As a medical doctor I personally find extremely intellectually dishonest the fact that some doctors like the one who wrote just above my comments (Anonymous JW )try to portray an image of themselves as Super Human, always in control of themselves.

It is simply untrue, and false.
It's pure propaganda, unsupported by any sort of scientific evidence.

I also find extremely arrogant and patronising that a medical doctor dares to call patients who raise modesty issues inside the medical context as a component of their dignity are defined as psychopathological cases.

They are not psychopathological patients, they are people of sound mind, with full awareness of their privacy rights.

It is a myth created by some propaganda that male doctors never get aroused by their patients, never develop feelings for their patients and they can switch off their sexual attraction.

Doctors are not better than a teacher who, seeing a beautiful student, keeps his feelings and sexual attraction to himself and do not act on it.

That does not mean that they are not sexually attracted, it means that they control their conduct to prevent their sexual feelings interfering with the profession.

However, the fact that a doctor like a teacher or a lawyer can control himself, does not mean that a female patient, or a husband, must be ok with getting naked in front of the doctor of the opposite sex, or allowing that doctor to access their genital organs.

Most patients believe that this is an intrusion of their privacy and a violation of sexual boundaries, especially because it can be practiced by same gender doctors.

To Anonymous JW, who posted before me, I would like to tell, as a Male doctor and colleague: Remember you are asked to respect patients feelings. The General Medical Council, In the code of good practice for Intimate examinations 2013 explicitly states: 1) "You must treat patients as individuals
and respect their dignity and privacy"

2 "Intimate examinations can be embarrassing
or distressing for patients and whenever you
examine a patient you should be sensitive to
what they may think of as intimate. This is likely
to include examinations of breasts, genitalia and
rectum, but could also include any examination
where it is necessary to touch or even be close
to the patient"

Your attitude that those who have privacy and modesty issues in getting undressed in front of a doctor of the opposite sex have psychopathologies makes you an abuser. If I knew your name I would have already reported you to the GMC and made you have a warning or suspend your licence.

Seriously, you should tone down your overbearing and arrogant pose.

JW said...

Pier Louis
My comments regarding those with psych issues and emotional problems are for those who commented previously (those who do not believe men should even have the right to be OB's since they are all perverse). NOT WOMEN WHO PREFER FEMALE OB/GYN's.

I am not in control of who seeks out my medical services (In America). If you prefer a female and i that is what you are comfortable with then I am ALL FOR IT. You by all means have that right...as do my patients to see me! If you don't believe that I should be an OB/GYN then I disagree, and so would my patients.

I speak for myself not all male doctors. I DO NOT get sexually aroused when examining patients. If your Dr. Smith does and you do then that is fine. Why are you not advocating that all females have a female Primary Care doctors? Do they perform exams? Do they have patients get undressed?

I am for all patients being seen by and cared for in the best way by whomever they feel comfortable with. What I am not for is your "facts" assigning feelings, sexual responses, or emotions to me or my patients!

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

Dear Dr JW,

As I reported earlier, not me or doctor Smith, but the Professional body which authorise medical doctors to practice medicine, i.e. The General medical council, which states:

"there is nothing unusual or abnormal about having sexualised feelings towards certain patients"

In my language what the General Medical Council means:


The statement of the General Medical Council was not invented by me to bother you, it is based on a broad series of widely verified scientific evidence that ALL HUMANS (MEDICAL DOCTORS INCLUDED) are likely to experience sexual attraction towards other humans.

It is a scientific fact that sexual attraction is generated by visual stimuli (Such as the view on naked bodies of the opposite gender) and non-visual stimuli (such as the touch of the body of another person).

It is a scientific fact that sexual attraction is not entirely under the control of any human being, and it can occur in the work environment as much as outside the work environment.

What is under control of the human beings is how they deal with the sexual attraction, i.e. whether they act on it or not. No more, no less.

As a medical doctor YOUR PROFESSIONAL CODE IMPOSES YOU TO TIMELY RECOGNISE ANY POTENTIAL SEXUAL ATTRACTION YOU MAY HAVE AND DEAL APPROPRIATELY WITH IT. It does not impose to eliminate your sexual attraction, because that is impossible.

The fact that doctors may have sexual attractions towards patients does not make them perverts, it makes them human.

However it is very relevant to stress that the general medical council thinks that "failing to identify these feelings and acting on them is likely to result in serious consequences for their patients and themselves"

The Obligation to offer patients a chaperone testifies that the General Medical Council is aware that medical doctors can be sexually attracted to their patients and can abuse of their position of power to take sexual advantage of their patients.

The fact you have a female nurse with you while you do intimate exams, indicates that you are considered (like all doctors performing intimate exams) in need to be monitored because you are:

1) sensible to sexual attraction

2) In a position of power which you could abuse for your sexual gratification

It does not seem to me that any doctor is exempt from this.

The fact that you deny this, i.e. deny a principle which is imposed by your own medical code, that you made oath to respect and fulfil when you became a doctor.

In my opinion, as a medical doctor who trained generation of medical students in a world top university, your denial of any sexual attraction towards any patient makes you intellectually dishonest, potentially unable to deal with sexual attraction towards patients or from patients and at risk of harming patients. Hence potentially unfit to practice Ob/Gyn.

JW said...

Dr. Pier Louis,

You often speak in absolutes, which is very dangerous. I never said that doctors cannot have sexual feelings toward patients. I said that I do not. I never said that it makes them perverts. I said that I am not one (which many of the people posting claim that ALL male OB/GYNs must be to enter the field). You do not know me. You cannot place your feelings upon me. You are not in a position to judge whether I am fit or unfit to be an OB/GYN. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology says that I am. The GMC does not govern me as I am an American OB/GYN.

What kind of medicine do you practice? Do you see females or do you see yourself unfit because you become sexually aroused? Do you also disagree with gay male OB/GYN's or lesbian? Do you believe that only heterosexual females are qualified to practice OB/GYN? What about certain ethnicities that patients may be uncomfortable with?

As I said before, I have many patients that are extremely satisfied with my care. I also have many male colleagues that can say the same. If any patient is comfortable with a certain provider and receiving good care, then I think that is wonderful, whether that is male or female. It is you, sir, that seems to have the problem.

Also, to your earlier statement (also an absolute), my wife sees the most qualified OB/GYN in our opinion, which happens to be a male. We are both comfortable with this.

Sexual attraction may be generated by visual and non visual stimuli. It just so happens that patients being examined does not turn me on. If it did, then I would deal with it appropriately.

Thanks for your concern.

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

Dr JW,
The person who speaks in absolute terms is you.
Your patients are not a permanent, pre-selected, and pre-defined group which you know in advance you do not (now) and will not (in the future) have attraction to.
I simply limit myself to reporting the Universal Principles acknowledged and applied by Medical Boards in Europe and in the United States.
In both places it is universally acknowledged by the corresponding medical boards that medical doctors are likely to experience sexual attraction towards SOME (NOT ALL) their patients and there are specific guidelines about how to deal with it when this happens.
To the best of my knowledge the United States Medical Boards do not state that these principles which I quoted above apply to all medical doctors with the exception of Dr JW.
I have read no pronouncements of the The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology which states that doctor JW has been scientifically tested and certified to be a Superhuman to whom the medical and Psychological findings related to human Physiology and Psychology do not apply.
I have not read that you Dr JW is exempt from the compulsory obligation to offer the presence of a chaperone to the patient, so that his behavior can be monitored, like the behavior of all other medical doctors during intimate exams.
You are, like all doctors, compelled by the guidelines of medical profession, to offer the presence of a chaperone for the sake of patients.
This is because you are, like all other doctors, under the Medical and legal assumption of being potentially sexually attracted to patients and potentially susceptible to act at their detriment by taking sexual advantage of them.
Whether you recognize this or not, it remains an undeniable fact.
If intimate examinations were not inherently at high risk of sexual abuses, chaperones would not be necessary as they are not necessary for non-intimate examinations.
Finally, in relation to your statement that you are not sexually attracted now, that you have never been in the past, and you will never be in the future, to any your patients: that is your statement only.
As such, It is not verified by anyone and has no empirical or scientific reliability and credibility. It does not invalidate any my previous statements, all of which are pinned down by medical research and incorporated in the guidelines of any medical board, in Europe as much as in the USA.

JW said...

Last Post

You seem to have a strong bias against male OB/GYn's, and want to focus on me. If we examine the language that you use in these "facts" backed up by scientific research, you use words like "may" "likely" "some" and "potential to." These governing bodies understand that it may occur (not that it necessarily will), and give us safety measures and how to deal with it. Also there are safety measures put is place in case of plane crashes and fires as well, but that does not mean it will necessarily occur.

The potential you speak of exists for ALL providers, male or female, and that is why it is recommended for ALL providers to have a chaperone (NOT JUST MALES).

Let's point out the fact that your earlier post claimed that males are inferior at treating women because of these "intimate exams" that they lack experience in. You also claim that no male doctors want their wives to be cared for by men. Both of these things are false. You seem to have forgotten that you said these things.

You avoid answering questions related to your practice. You also have avoided many questions that would poke holes in your inferior male care theory such as gay male or lesbian providers. You also have yet to share whether you believe that ANY physician caring for a patient should be the same sex given that Primary Care, Family Practice, Pediatricians, ER, amongst others all have the "potential to" and often do perform "intimate exams." Or does your prejudice only include male OB/GYN's?

Just some things to consider. I am leaving in order to take care of my OB/GYN patients. Good day, sir.

Martin said...


I REALLY would like to know if it is actually possible for a male doctor, physician, specialist or gynecologist to get sexually aroused whilst intimately examining an attractive female patient.

My wife has now been through 4 years of fertility problems resulting in many intimate examinations and procedures performed by both male and female medical people.

The whole process has aroused suspicions within me as I can't really understand how a male would not become aroused under such circumstances. Especially if he is relaxed and in his own work environment/territory.

I wouldn't consider myself to be over-sexed, but I still can't understand it?

I've looked at images on the internet of women being examined and find myself confused as to how a man can 'switch off' when confronted with such views of naked female genitalia?

Now my issue is: if it is possible for a male doctor to become aroused and lie about these facts to the patient, then surely his actions can be taken as sexual abuse or sexual molestation as the female patient has been given her trust in his word.

I am SERIOUSLY concerned by the potential for sexual abuse that I've witnessed throughout my wife's 4 year fertility journey.

We WILL be requesting female to female care ONLY from now on when it comes to such intimate and private examinations and procedures.

I witnessed things that have triggered great unease and mistrust of male gynecologists and fertility specialists.

I now truly believe that this is NO area for male to be working within. By all means they should be allowed to advise female doctors and physicians but NO HANDS ON should be allowed within a civalised 21st Century.

Anonymous said...

Very well said Martin. I feel exactly the same as you do. My wife and I have been through a similar ordeal to you. The things that male doctors done to my wife disgusted me.

Anonymous said...

I just had my first child. I preferred a female ob/gyn. She didn't listen to my concerns. She rushed through seeing me and never had time to answer questions. When I asked about which otc products I could take, She would say just read the bottle and of course the bottle always says ask your Dr. if your pregnant. I gave birth at 29 weeks premature. I switched to a male Dr. one week before I gave birth. He caught a serious infection that could have been life threatening for my child. After I gave birth, he actually listened to my questions and addressed my health concerns. He made me feel much more comfortable than the female OB did. I can't say whether male ob's ever look at patients sexually but isn't more important to find an ob who's a good Dr. and competent at their job rather than worrying about their gender. Thankfully, my child and I are ok. I would definitely see the same male on again.

Association Of Couples Victimes of Sexual Abuses by Male Doctors said...

Beware Readers of this blog.
This blog was created by the wife of a male gynecologist and is strongly biased in favor of the personal and financial interest of the male Gynecologist and His Wife.
Please notice and beware that every time a patient express discomfort for the male gynecologist you will find a similar post where they try to portray female doctors as incompetent, unable to listen to the patients and unable to recognize pathologies. And guess who the Superhero of the situation is instead? The male doctor who apparently is the only trained person who can listen and recognize pathologies timely.
The posts are like the one above:
I originally chose a female doctor, but the female doctor was incompetent unable to do her job and I almost lost my life and the life of my child. Then I found a male doctor, he was a genius, and saved my life and my child's life and we lived with him happily ever after.
Beware readers of this blog: This is pure propaganda. The majority of the Gynaecologists today are female (85%). Common sense lead to the understanding that it is more likely to find a good doctor among the 85% female Gynaecologists, than among the 15% of male gynaecologist. It is just a matter of statistics.
Do not rely on the posts of anonymous patients, or of fake medical Centre managers, refer only to the posts of those qualified people who report original statistics from authentic sources.
Remember, there is no reason to think a woman is less qualified than a male doctor. Female Gynecologists are highly qualified and are able to deal with all the problems of the pregnancy and if you are unhappy, you can choose another female doctor who is better than the previous one.
The fake posts, like the one above, who states that if there wasn't a male doctor to save the lives of pregnant women and their children, they would die is pure propaganda. It is a ridiculous attempt to justify males treating naked women, and violating the privacy of women and their husbands.
Remember 85% of Gynecologists nowadays are female doctors, they are very well trained, competent, and intelligent.
They are able to understand their patients, identify potential pathologies and risk and lead u to a successful pregnancy.
If you are unhappy with a female doctor, there will always be another female doctor who is better trained and qualified and better able to deal with your problem. It is statistically impossible that you are not able to find a good female doctor among the 85% of Gynecologists who are female, but you are able to find a good doctor only in the small 15% group who are male.
Remember, Female doctors are not only prepared, they also protect the your privacy and the privacy and dignity of your husbands.
There is no need to let another man access your vagina, and see you naked. there is no need to let another man access those parts who are only for your husband and no other man in a marriage.
Beware of the Propaganda of male Gynecologists.
Remember this website was created to defend male gynecologists and it is filled of false biased information against female gynecologists and in favor of male gynecologists.

Female Medical Student - Male Students Look at female patients sexually - They are no different from male students in other field of studies said...

Dr Jw, I am a husband and I would not like my wife to be examined by you.
I do not believe a word of what you said, that you are never attracted to any of your female patients.
On the contrary I agree with the posts of Dr PierLouis who pointed out that other male gynaecologists have published books where they explain that male doctors are no different from any other men when it comes to sexual attraction towards women and they bring inside themselves the same feelings and ideas they had before doing the training in their practice.
I am a female medical student and I can see in the medical training that the majority of male students are sent away by female patients when they have to practice intimate exams.

Many of our tutors, invite male students to avoid informing of their patients that they can refuse the presence of students. Many male students do not obtain a valid consent to practice on female patients, because they do not inform female patients that their practice is unnecessary for the healthcare of the patient and necessary only to the training of the student. They do not do so, because they want the female patients to believe they have no choice but accept whoever comes for the pap test or other intimate exam.
When female patients are asked whether they want to let the male student stay and they are given a choice the majority of the female patients prefer to refuse the presence of a student if he is a male, but they are ok if the student is a woman.
That is the reality. And I do not blame women. After all they are sent a 23 year old dude. He is no better than any other dude who is studying geography or math.
Dudes are sexual, they like sex, they like women.
Yes there may be the problem of lesbians, but let's face it, homosexuals are a minority. In addition to it, lesbians are women too, they have the same bits we have and they are allowed to access the same washrooms as women. While male students, have the only opportunity to access women in their practice of intimate exams. They do not access female change rooms, they cannot access female washrooms. There is a reason if it is not allowed for a man to access female change rooms but is allowed to a lesbian to access a female washroom and change room isn't it?
Many male students I know, are not different from any other men when it comes to attraction to women. WHen they are away from patients, they make comments about how hot she was, how ugly she was, how the boobs of the patients they examined were and whether she had a nice shaved vagina or an ugly hairy one.
Do not tell me, that male students are above students in other fields of studies. They get drunk, they have parties, that fuck around like anyones else, and it is unlikely, they become De-sexualized angels when they visit a young female patients.

Female Medical Student and her Husband Medical Doctor said...

I am a husband and a male doctor. My wife is a female trainee doctor. We decided to write this post and the post above jointly to give our contribution to the debate.

We know as doctors that we should leave aside our sexual feelings towards patients. This means that we should keep our sexual thoughts for ourselves, but it does not mean that we do not have sexual thoughts or that we are unable to notice whether a patient is sexy or not. That is absolutely false.

As my wife pointed out above, male students are (for justified reasons) invited to stay out of the examination room more often then female students when a female patient need an intimate exam. It is true that male students are less prepared, than women. For some male students who come from Muslim countries naked female patients are the first naked women they see. I had many friends during the training that were sexually curious because they came fro Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran Kwait, Siria and India. They never saw a naked woman until they accessed female patients under Anaesthesia. They comment was, it was awesome, or I was doing the exam and the only thing I could feel was my hard-on...

Yes we try to respect patients, and we try to do our best to deal with them without offending their dignity, but we are still men and women, becoming doctors does not erase the differences.


I am the female trainee doctor, who is married to the guy who wrote before the separation line above:
I met my husband in the hospital during my training. We felt attracted to each other. Dr JW and his wife probably felt the same. The fact that I felt attracted to my male colleague (now my husband) and my male colleague felt attracted to me (a female trainee doctor) means sexual attraction is possible in a hospital environment.
I and my husband can be attracted to patients as much as we can be attracted to each other, or to other staff member of the hospital.
The male Dr JW and his Wife are likely to be attracted to their patients as much as they are attracted to each other. If Dr JW wasnot attracted to women at all, then he would have never been attracted to his wife, and he would not be married to a colleague.

JW said...

It's funny that you all keep speaking about me. First of all, I said it clearly-I do not get sexually aroused during exams. I did not say that I was not attracted to women. If I saw an attractive woman after a severe car accident in a trauma bay, or having to use the toilet, I would not get turned on either. It's a clinical situation for me, and that does not turn me on. Maybe you all do, but I do not. Does the female medical student get turned on when seeing a penis during an exam? Curious...

The point of me bringing up homosexual physicians is to point out that your bias can only go so far. I am not the one advocating that someone see one sex versus the other. I have repeatedly stated that I feel that patients should see who they are comfortable with. I have heard inappropriate comments by both male and female students and providers. I don't tolerate either. You trying to portray men as all horny frat boys is ridiculous. Men AND women can be sexual. But that just goes along with your gender bias.

It is also clear that you all are not OB/GYN's. Most of us know that there are both good and bad, male and female OB/GYN's.

As I also pointed out earlier MANY more types of physicians perform breast and pelvic exams. General Surgeons (treats ALL breast disease/rectal exams), Plastic surgeons (breast and vulvar surgery),GYN Oncologists (mostly male), Internal Medicine and Gastroenterologists (rectal exams), Family Practice (well woman exams), Emergency Medicine (pelvic exams). It is not feasible to create a female treating female (or male treating male) scenario for all of these specialties (amongst others). Good thing there are millions of women who understand that there are qualified male physicians to take care of them! (as long as they are comfortable)

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

Dear JW,
I am a medical doctor specialized both in general practice (what you call family doctor in the US) and in Psychiatry.
I have the impression that you suffer of an impaired ability to understand what “lay persons” who haven’t studies medicine are trying to convey through the expression of their distress, frustration or outrage for the negative experiences they had with male doctors performing intimate exams either on themselves (if they are women) or on their wives (if they are the corresponding husbands).
You should have studied at least one module of Psychiatry or Psychology during your undergraduate and you should understand how to de-codify patient’s discomfort, especially being specialized in a field which implies so much intrusion into a patient’s physical and psychological dimension.
Let me try to interpret for you the general viewpoints here:
1. None is against male gynecologists in particular. However, the majority of patients have expressed a serious discomfort for themselves or their partners being accessed by a different gender doctor for intimate exams. Especially in the situations outlined in the following bullet points.
2. Most female patients on this forum have outlined in multiple instances that when they were in a state of need they were sent to a male doctor, and given they are in need they felt forced to accept being accessed by a male doctor, because female doctors were not made available. As a result they feel violated and abused at the time when they were most vulnerable. It follows that the problem of this exams being perceived as abuse arises when hospitals or clinics do not offer 24-7 the possibility to have always a same gender doctor to choose. It must be pointed out that the lack of choice does not stem from the actual lack of same-gender doctors, but from the fact that the recruiting of medical doctors in hospitals disregard the gender-oriented feelings of the patients and look only at the specialization of the doctor. While for the hospital any person with the right specialization is ok (regardless of the gender) for most of patients who have to undergo intimate exams (and their partners) one gender or the other it is not the same.

3. Most patients have outlined in multiple instances that they were not properly informed about whom would access their bodies or their partners’ bodies, and have found themselves or their partners accessed intimately by multiple male doctors while they (or their partners) where under anesthesia, without being preventively informed that the team would be composed by male doctors rather than female ones.
4. Male students and patients have informed multiple cases when patients are performed intimate exams for training purposes without a valid consent being obtained and without the patients being informed that they have the right to decline the student’s presence or training practice. They have also outlined that these abuses are more likely to happen in the case of male students learning to practice basic intimate exams on women. This is also consistent with earlier medical literature, which you should be aware of.
5. Most patients and their corresponding partners do not believe that doctors performing cross-gender examinations on healthy/good-looking/sexually attractive patients do not get sexually attracted. This makes the procedure somehow violating sexual boundaries for them and their partners. It must be pointed out that earlier medical literature support the view that sexual attraction of doctors towards patients and of patients towards doctors is a usual phenomenon and quite likely to occur in the case of cross-gender examinations. Despite your individual statements about yourself (which are not proven and verified) the idea that medical doctors do not separate completely between intimate exams and sexual acts is supported by medical literature.

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

6. Most patients stated that they believe that there is a difference in a male treating a naked woman, compared to another heterosexual woman. This sensation which make many female patients and their partners particularly adverse to male doctors performing intimate exams on women is also grounded on medical literature which shows that a male's sexual pursuit region in their brain is 2.5x larger than the female version. You argued that lesbian exist, but it is a fact that lesbians are 1) a minority and 2) do not share the 2.5x visual-sexual-stimuli with men. In addition, lesbian can see naked women in changing rooms any time, as gays can see naked males in their changing rooms anytime, and this does not create general outrage and discomfort as if a man entered a female shower room or a woman entered a male shower room.
7. You disregard empirical findings which give evidence that 1 in 3 males report that they would consider rape if they knew they could get away with it. While the proportions are insignificant for women vs males.
8. You intentionally disregard that medical literature shows that 6-10% of physicians are guilty of sexual misconduct depending on which study you cite. Of those 6-10%, 97-100% are male doctors, depending on which study you cite. The same studies also state that sexual misconduct among doctors is under-reported, hence real percentages are higher than what the studies are able to capture. It must pointed out that sexual misconduct ranges from inappropriate comments and touching into sexual practices and up to rape)
9. You intentionally disregard that of those 6-10% of doctors who commit sexual misconducts, and of those 97-100% male doctors, all of them enjoyed a high reputation and trust until their misconducts were found out. This confirms that doctors who commit sexual abuses, are all highly skilled doctors, who are also able to hide their real sexual intentions behind a veneer of good manners and professionalism.
10. Medical research reports that healthy heterosexual males exhibit a sexual response in association with the visualization and touching of female genitalia, female breasts, female buttocks, and female naked bodies in general. Medical research also reports that habituation reduces the response, however in order to occur, habituation requires several weeks and it is interrupted by the view of new female shapes. Similar findings are obtained for heterosexual females in association with viewing and touching male intimate parts. There are no medical findings that such sexual response differ for medical doctors undertaking intimate examinations. Hence your statement about yourself, strongly differs with earlier literature findings. I would gladly invite you to submit yourself to participate to an empirical study and compensate you significantly if I could write a paper based on your case, where it is empirically demonstrable that your sexual response pattern significantly diverges from the one exposed in the literature (given for granted that you are a healthy heterosexual individual).

PierLouis - Male Medical Doctor said...

11. You stated that all sentences of the medical boards which states that is usual and that it is likely that doctors experience sexual attraction towards some of the patients, use the words usual and likely, but do not use the word “necessarily” or “certainly”. As a medical doctor you should know that most of the exams which you practice and most of the treatments which you provide your patients with, are based on the likelihood of the patients’ response based on empirical studies. All medicine is based on this, no individual responds exactly in the same way, but there are some variances. Nonetheless, the likelihood and frequency of a phenomenon have a scientific value and are medically significant. So your comment, coming from a medical doctor seems to be particularly unqualified. Given that no human being is 100% definitely attracted to another human being of the opposite sex, but each human being is surely attracted to some, depending on their specific tastes, the likelihood of a male doctor being sexually attracted to a female patient is the same as the likelihood that any other male person to be attracted to any other female person. There is no scientific reason to think otherwise. There is no empirical study which supports the view that doctors do not get sexually attracted to their patients and that doctors performing intimate examinations on naked patients do not have the same sexual response as any other individual, viewing and touching a naked body. However, you are free to quote the empirical studies which prove otherwise, if you know any.

JW said...

Dr. PierLouis,

So as a Family Medicine Physician, you deem yourself unreliable and unfit to perform female exams (females disrobing) because of these reasons you stated? If what you say is true, then it is unlikely that sexual misconduct will occur, correct? Do you refer female patients with an acute problem to avoid an "intimate exam?" I am sure that they appreciate the thorough care....from someone else.

Not sure about what happens in your country and at every hospital, but the things that you speak of, I have never witnessed. Those things are ethics violations and should be reported. In my training in American Medical Schools and Residency, we consent our patients, whether its for routine exams or under anesthesia. We had groups of women who VOLUNTEERED in medical schools to teach male and female medical students to perform breast and pelvic exams. Were they violated? Also, in America you have the right to refuse medical exams and care if you so choose and are not comfortable with the provider.

Instead of studying me, I would like to see your medical model of having a female and male specialist that may perform an intimate exam at every hospital 24 hours a day 365 days per year. That means Urologists (they take care of females and males), General Surgeons, OB/GYN's. GYN Oncologists, Gastroenterologists, Family Practice, internal Medicine, Plastic Surgery, Trauma Surgeons, Emergency Medicine, REI, Critical Care, Orthopedics (pelvic fractures), and Colo-Rectal Surgeons. If you truly believe that this is feasible, then I would like you to explain how. See how silly that sounds?

Also, you state that I "suffer of an impaired ability" to understand what lay persons are trying to covey. What part of "I BELIEVE THAT PATIENTS SHOULD SEE WHOMEVER THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH," do you not understand? I do not force patients to see me.

Apparently there are thousands of male OB/GYN's who have patients seeking their care. I see patients daily. A lot of my patients won't see anyone else. I see them with their husbands. They often bring their babies, which I have delivered, back to visit because they are happy and want to share that. I have surgical patients that refer their friends and families. Does this sound like abuse? I have male partners and colleagues that enjoy the same patient-dcotor relationships. Despite your disapproval and seemingly obsession with sexual attraction between male doctors and their female patients, MANY women are happy with their male physicians.

But I will say it again, I believe that patients should see the physician that they are comfortable with. I DO NOT have a problem with women who choose to see a female physician. It is you all that seem to have a problem when women don't.

Anonymous said...

I am a 4th year male medical student who recently switched my specialty to ob/gyn. I read through all of the comments here, and am frankly saddened by what I have read. I switched because I liked bring joy to couples after a successful delivery, and because I get a nice mix of patient continuity with OR time. I wonder how people can think such awful things about me, when everyone I know applauds my decision.

To people saying that men going into ob/gyn these days are strange, perverted creeps, I ask a simple question: why would I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and most of my best years just to abuse women?

For the record, I am not letting some anonymous comments on a message board sway my career choice.

To PierLouis, I would ask you to please answer JW's questions about if you perform pelvics as a primary care doctor, and whether every specialty that performs intimate exams should be gender segregated.

My Ethical Choice as Medical Student said...

Hello everyone, just came across this thread by chance actually. I'm currently in medical school - and wanted to share my perspective.

I have a detailed understanding (as you might expect)of what needs to be done from a medical standpoint in a gyne exam. So as I was considering specialties, I put that Ob/Gyn near the top of my list. However, when I looked at it a little more closely, as intellectually interesting as it was, I realised that there would be serious ethical issues involved for any male interested in this specialty.

Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I challenge any man to have a young woman exposed in front of him and not think lustfully. I happen to think, based on personal experience and knowing the way our male minds work, I consider it near impossible.

Here's my take - there are some exceptions:

1) emergencies/surgeries. I truly believe you can "turn it off" in these situations (and I've done so myself) because you're wholly concerned with the task at hand, and not a particular body part.

2)If female colleagues around you are negligent/incompetent - then maybe, yes. But I'm sure there are plenty of good female OB/GYNs around.

I also reflected, as some of you have, if it were my wife in that room, I wouldn't want that happening if there was an alternative. Now, there was an emergency and no female doct was available, I'd accept it. But the thought of general exams? Paps? On healthy, young women with no medical problems? Sure, I could do a pap once or twice and not feel guilty. Every day? Day in, day out? I believe not to crossing the line would be a challenge for any men the line.

We're men after all. I think that becoming a doctor does plenty of good for a man's character - but this is one area I think even the most steely of men would do well to avoid. I don't, out of respect for my patients, want to even let it happen once.

As you can probably tell already, I've decided on another specialty, one where I can hopefully be of greater help to my patients

Ob/Gyn med student said...

To the "medical student" above me:

Pretty arrogant of you to believe that a man in any other specialty does greater good for his patients than men in ob/gyn. In what other specialty can you save 2 lives at one time? Which specialty gives care to a person before an ob? Which specialty holds more lives in their hands? Are these accomplishments diminished, or in your words, less helpful, if a man does them?

I also can't stand the "if it's an emergency then I'll let a man treat my wife/girlfriend" argument. You are basically spitting in the face of male ob/gyns, telling them "I don't want you anywhere near my wife unless there's an emergency, in which case you damned well better be ready to save her life at the drop of a hat. After you save her life, piss off."

I hope that you have the courage of your convictions to share your opinions with the male ob/gyn faculty at your school, but I already know that don't, and you won't.

My Ethical Choice as Medical Student said...

To the Medical ObGyn student above:

I am not sure where is the problem with what I said...

...It is my strong belief that for ordinary well-being exam when a woman has the possibility to choose her doctor, there is no need to get naked and open her legs to a male, when there are plenty of talented female gynaecologists able to take care of her...

....Second point, giving birth is a natural process, and a sign of health; it is not a fatal disease or a pathology where you have to operate to save lives every time
otherwise both mother and child would die....That is an emergency situation which can arise in the case of complications, but it is not a standard situation and it happens only in a smaller percentages of deliveries....So cool down your super hero attitude as in the majority of the cases ob/gyns do a pretty ordinary job with no special life-saving skills...

...if an emergency occurred, everybody would agree: first doctor first, and best doctors first, and that would not be a problem....

...If it happens that there is an emergency, any doctor male or female is called to intervene to save the patients' life. That is our job and that is pretty normal and we doctors should be fulfilled by the fact we saved a life and that is it...

What is abnormal is what you stated later, and your expectation of something back from the patient for the fact you did your job...

You stated: I also can't stand the "if it's an emergency then I'll let a man treat my wife/girlfriend" argument. You are basically spitting in the face of male ob/gyns, telling them "I don't want you anywhere near my wife unless there's an emergency, in which case you damned well better be ready to save her life at the drop of a hat. After you save her life, piss off."

You are a doctor, you saved a patient's life, you have done your job, you have patients' gratitude, what do you want more???

Oh yes now I understand your underlying thought:
If my girlfriend is taken to you as a first doctor available, then She should be eternally grateful to you and offer you to examine her naked body for the rest of her life?

Is this your way of "serving patients"?

...I am not sure, in your twisted way of expressing yourself, what do you want from patients...

...It's like the emergency car breakdown service who after they collect my car and fix it, tells me...So that's it? we fixed your car and now you go your own way?

Do your realise how twisted your are?

Ob/Gyn med student said...

You sound like a first or second year medical student at most, as well as a medical student who has never practiced at a tertiary care center. You have little understanding of just how many infants are saved by obs, both men and women. This may be shocking to you, but obs do more to save lives than just treating patients that are on death's door. Early intervention and appropriate c-section have saved countless babies that would be dead otherwise.

Only idealistic pre meds and junior students believe that doctors only exist to serve others. Sure I would do my job if your wife came in with an abruption or ruptured ectopic, but that does not make you any less of a prick. You have the same rational as women who decide to have a home birth without any backup plan, then expect a hospital to suddenly have everything ready for her when something invariably goes wrong. It is a selfish and elitist way of thinking.

By the way, I expect you to seek out the male ob/gyns at your hospital and tell them they have no place in their field of expertise. Otherwise, you're a shifty, unscrupulous and disingenuous snake in the grass.

Ob/Gyn med student said...

One more thing - not all men see women as just a collection of holes in which to stick their penises. Obviously you do, hence your admission that you can't even do a medical procedure without lusting after the patient, but I prefer to see women as people

My Ethical Choice as Medical Student said...

"Only idealistic pre meds and junior students believe that doctors only exist to serve others"


Are you kidding me???????

In my opinion, you are very arrogant. I am a first class student with full scholarship, and do not take lessons from you.

To me you appear to be the stereotype of doctor who believes to be entitled to treat women because through right to access patients, with or without their consent, and with absolute disregard for their feelings, believes and preferences.

I have no doubts that you were part of that percentage of students who have no regard for patients' consent and while patients were under anaesthesia felt it was ok preforming intimate exams on them for your learning, regardless of whether you had obtained a valid consent. These students are animated by the same principles that animate you: You are doing it for them, because that is your mission.

After all, if you have no sexual feeling with accessing them, so should not they...

...They should not dare remind you their body is theirs and not yours to dispose of, and to decide for them on their behalf.

Of course telling you, that they prefer a woman is a deep offence to your Ego. You got a degree in medicine, and a specialization in Ob/Gyn how dare they to have preferences, feelings, believes, religious backgrounds, privacy issues, marriage bonds with their partners.

All of these are nothing to you, as your surgical skills overwrite all of these principles.

I have no doubts you are a doctor who, when the admission people of the hospital send you a young woman, will immediately intervene on her without any tactful assessment of whether she was informed that she is entitled to be taken care by a same gender doctor if she feel more comfortable, because you have made already your decision for her that you are ok for her without even verifying it with her.

You will just tell yourself, I am a doctor, I got the skills, I will do all exams on her because that is my job....NOTHING MORE WRONG THAN THAT.

Most patients who come to the hospital have a giant asymmetry of information with us.

They only know they are feeling sick or they have pain.

They do not know whether or not they have any rights of choosing the doctor who sees them.

They do not know whether they need to be visited with urgency or not.

We have a big power: if we tell them I need to do this on you or I need to examine that they will do it, because they feel they have to collaborate with us.

Our ethical obligation is not to intervene on them, because we have the skills to do so, but to provide them all the information and help they may need to decide for themselves what is better for them to do and decide who better can intervene of them. Unless they lack of mental capacity we should never give for granted their preferences and we should never judge where their preferences come from. They are theirs and theirs only. How we feel about their preferences is, and must be, our problem only.

You seem the kind of doctor who uses that power in the wrong way: without providing the patient with the right information to make an informed choice, but prefer to act on the patient with no question about his preference and believes, animated as you are by a blind mission to save them, rather than to inform them and let them choose for themselves.

Sorry mate, the way you feel about yourself and your sexuality, must not ever give you any belief you are essential, you are entitled to access patients, and especially women. No matter the reason you do it for, Consent is not an optional.

But Al least patients and women can see the kind of men most male gynaecologists are.

The Other Side of the Speculum: A Male Doctor’s Point of View said...

I’ve read several of the posts here, and just wanted to get a few things off my chest . . .
I am a doctor myself, in a smallish town in the midwest. I’m in a specialty where we do not do pelvic exams, but of course I was trained in how to do them while in medical school. It has always bothered me, for a couple of reasons, but the male/female thing has been the main thing originally. I always got a small, secret thrill out of doing a pelvic exam (or a breast exam, for that matter) on an attractive woman. Because we were told that “it’s not sexual,” “it’s just a medical procedure, nothing sexual about it, no reason to have sexual thoughts,” I though I was weird. I didn’t worry that much because I knew I wasn’t going into an area where I would do exams, but…
Then, during residency, I worked with a lot of doctors in the community, and discovered that, for most of them, it WAS at least partly sexual: they would sit around in the lounges and such and sometimes discuss the anatomy of beautiful women who’d been in, and on two occasions discussed, in front me and everyone else, the sexual anatomy attributes of women who worked in the hospital, nurses and such that were mutual acquaintances. I was horrified! I have to say, too, that many doctors, when I asked (because it bothered me), talked about it like, “Oh, it’s just another test to have to do, kind of boring, really.”
Still, the inescapable fact is that a guy likes to look at a naked woman. Period. Doctors are no different. They like to look at naked women, too. So, if they get PAID to look–I mean, really LOOK–at a woman’s sexual organs, and even better, they get to touch them, well… So much the better! I’m not saying that doctors do exams just to get a sexual thrill, because the circumstances really don’t allow a full-out sexual experience, but given a choice between doing a lung exam on an 80-year-old guy or a pelvic exam on an attractive 30-year-old woman, I’d say most docs would MUCH rather do the latter. They’re only human. They would flatly deny having any such thoughts (in most cases), but deep down, they ARE men, after all.
So, I think sometimes part of what prompts docs to urge women to have more testing is, that secretly they kind of like doing it. The money doesn’t hurt (i.e., they get paid to do it). In terms of pap smears being unnecessary for post-hysterectomy women, they also probably often just don’t know–there are several things in my specialty which GPs do wrong, all the time, even though they should know better. The ACOG recommends that even without doing pap smears, women have pelvic exams regularly, to screen for various cancers that are of very little risk. I’m sure part of that is just the “hyperscreening” that we’ve gotten sucked into, part of it is the money, and part is the male domination of women (gives you a great chance to stand there, fully clothed, with a woman who is naked and in a vulnerable position), and the chance to look at and touch naked women.
My wife (my second wife) and I got married last year, just past age 50 (for both of us). She had a hysterectomy (for benign disease) nearly 20 years ago. Before we married, she got kind of funny one day, then when I asked about what was wrong she admitted that she had had to make an appointment to “get my pap smear,” which she felt guilty for missing for the previous few years. I informed her she didn’t need one any more, and she told me I was wrong, that her gyn had told her she DID need them YEARLY, even though she’d had a hysterectomy. I showed her the research and persuaded her not to go back, ever, to that gyn.

The Other Side of the Speculum: A Male Doctor’s Point of View said...

Later, in looking at her records myself, I find that she had a small cyst removed from her back a few years ago. The surgeon did a complete pelvic exam as part of the physical before surgery. A VERY complete pelvic exam. There was no need for that (he did NOT record anything other than lungs, heart, breasts, and pelvic exam on his H&P report). A couple of years later she had a small cyst removed from her shoulder. THAT surgeon (a different one) did a complete breast exam as part of her H&P. My wife works in the hospital, with all these doctors (she’s in administration). She had her first colonoscopy last year, and the GI doc did a complete pelvic exam as part of her exam. Again, no medical reason to do that. She is not unattractive (not a magazine-model stunner, but attractive–I think she’s the most attractive woman in the world, but realistically she’s average attractiveness).

In my office, I am now doing a small study. I’ve asked women who come in (either as patients or as family members of patients) who are aged 30-60, who have had hysterectomies, whether they have continued to have pap smears/pelvic exams and whether their doc has recommended they still have them. I rank them as “attractive,” “not unattractive,” or “unattractive,” being aware this is a judgement call and not really PC (but the ones I’ve judged “unattractive,” I think everyone would agree, are really not attractivee at all).
So far, I’ve had 14 women agree to answer my questions, and the results have stunned me: of the 4 unattractive ones, all were told they no longer need to have pap smears/pelvic exams, because of their hysterectomies (even though for one, the hyst’y was for cancer, meaning she DOES need to continue exams). Of the 4 “not unattractive,” 3 have continued to have paps/pelvics irregularly (not yearly but every few years, at least), and 2 told me their doc told them they needed them, in one case “yearly” (and her doc was the same one who told 2 of the unattractive ones not to bother with exams any more, including the 1 who had had cancer)–the other 2 never asked and were never told anything by their doc. Of the “attractive” ones (all of whom had hyst’y for benign disease), only 2 have continued paps/pelvics, but all told me their doctors have continually told them they need to come in for regular exams, including pap smears and pelvic exams (interestingly, all but 1 had the same doctor who’d told 2 unattractive ladies not to come back). My wife’s (previous) gyn had told one of the unattractive ladies not to have further paps/pelvics, and 1 of the attractive ones she really, really needs them regularly (and she has, until our discussion).
Make your own judgement there, but that’s one more reason to be skeptical of attempts to get women to have regular exams. If I were a woman, I would not go to a male doc for such an exam, ever.

Chrissy said...

This all goes with the ‘get used to it, you’re a woman’ attitude, or ‘I’m a doctor and therefore entitled to see and touch your body’. I don’t know what they are taught when they are medical students, but there is no way they understand what it is like for a woman to be exposed and spreadeagled on an examination table whist they rummage around in the most intimate part of our body. I still remember my first pelvic examination. I was 17 and the (male) doctor forced my knees apart, as I wouldn’t comply with his verbal instructions to spread my legs. I felt violated – I WAS violated, but I have never spoken to anyone who understood how I felt. So I decided to keep quiet about it, until now, as I know that you girls will understand and not belittle how I feel.

Kathrine said...

Interesting and worrisome. If a study was done on amount and quality of health care received based on attractiveness, I bet results would show attractive people did indeed receive more attention. Especially given that frequent pap smears most often lead to unnecessary treatments that can cause harm. Not to mention the psychological damage from loss of dignity, modesty issues, and increased exposure to medical sexual misconduct.

Angela said...

Chrissy, the first time I had a pelvic exam I was not prepared for the experience. Even though I had an idea of what was involved from having read about them, I had a hard time believing that what was taking place was actually happening to me. Naming the exam a “pelvic” exam is misleading, especially if you are not informed about what takes place beforehand, because the pelvis is not in any way the focus. The VAGINA is the focus of the exam, and the way it is spotlighted, examined, probed, fingered, and spread open is truly difficult to comprehend unless you have experienced it, up close and personal.

My first experience was enhanced because the dr kicked the humiliation up a notch by not providing a sheet or gown to cover up with. He left me completely naked during the exam. I was in my early 20′s and never knew any better. I just assumed that was the way they were supposed to be done, and it was only years later that I discovered we are supposed to get something to cover up with.

Drs are only, as you say, MEN who happen to be wearing a white coat, and we don’t know them or know we can trust them – we only know that we’re expected to trust them. There is also an assumption and expectation that we are supposed to be just fine with undergoing this violently intimate exam, yet it goes against all we have known how to be.

Just because a person has studied such subjects as biology and anatomy does not, in my mind, automatically entitle them to ask me to undress, spread my legs, and offer up my vagina for examination. To suddenly let go of all I have known how to be. But this has been the expectation, and the women who don’t comply have been told to find a way to deal with their own “immaturity”, “modesty” and “silliness”. A blame-the-victim approach that has been a very clever and sadly effective tactic.

I have recently come to understand that some of those MEN in white coats know exactly what they are doing, and enjoy it.

Maggy said...

I have found older male doctors to be so utterly arrogant that I just cannot bear to be in the same room as them. Their sense of entitlement, the lack of respect for modesty. I don’t think any of that was taught in medical school years ago. My mothers generation were treated like pieces of meat. I know some that had to give birth to a room full of medical students without their permission and I know one whose vagina was used for teaching purposes, again to a group of male medical students, when she was in hospital for something totally unrelated without her permission. This happen over 40 years ago and she is still traumatised to this day. A complaint to the hospital resulted in her being banned.
As for breast exams I have had to endure one everytime I went to the Family Planning clinics along with my forced pap smears. They would make you have one if you wanted the pill. I didnt know that I could refuse because they used to tell us we wouldnt get the pill without one. All lies of course.
Once I asked my male GP for the pill. Big mistake. He tried to persuade me to try something else. I refused as I am not keen on having foreign objects in my body. He got angry and only gave me three months supply and told me I was having a breast exam at my next visit.

Speculum Disgrace said...

Ladies... Thank you so much for sharing your harrowing experiences with male doctors. Although upsetting, it is very important that women stand up for thier modesty and marrital boundaries against these obviously predatory male doctors and physicians. We have now passed through the age where men dominated the medical profession, I am hoping that female doctors will also expose these legalised male 'rapists'. Time to put your speculums down Mr Doctor and keep your fingers to yourselves!

jerry owens said...

married women seeing OBGNY's and OBGY's them selves are in hell and will go to hell. THIS behavior will not be allowed in heaven. all the cheaters will be in hell. Im happy I will be in heaven and my wife will be in hell and finale pay a price for cheating on me with so many drs and nurses during our marriage. I cant wait till the day comes shes in hell. I will rejoice when it gods time for her to go to hell. I wont tell her how I fell and I will not harm her. Im just waiting for the day to come that she knows she VIOLATED our marriage, and GOD deals with her about it. husbands worry not! your hour to rejoice is coming.

Anonymous said...

What happened to Amanda? Did her husband finally tell the truth that he looks forward to touching breasts and vaginas everyday. just not his wife's I mean.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know if Amanda goes to a male ob/gyn herself? (not her husband). Amanda, would you please tell us if you do in-fact go to a male doctor/physician for sexually intimate examinations and procedures? If you don't, why not? Does your husband mind if you do go to a male doctor?

Richard (UK) said...

This is how I was left feeling after my Wife and I went through IVF...

Infertillity (IVF) doctors get to see and 'work on' only 'the cream of the
crop', young, fit, healthy women with a burning desire and desperation to
re-produce, placing the doctor in a 'God like' position! My Wife is an active
Christian with strict morals and even she was prepared to eagerly jump up onto
that reclining bed and spread her legs wide open, under spotlight, right in
front of the face of a strange male doctor, a doctor that we'd never even been
introduced to, she done that without a second thought!? I was horrifed!!!
Afterwards, I blamed her for a start, I kept on repeatedly asking her to explain
to me how she could do such a thing!? Her reply was always "my concern was for
the embryo, I didn't really notice the doctor, he could've been a 'machine' for
all I was to know or even cared." In order to accept her 'take on things' I've
had to see IVF from a woman's perspective (very difficult may I add). My problem
now is, if I hadn't have insisted to be in there with her, she would have
probably allowed the 'God like' infertillity doctor to do anything, as long as
she was fertilized by him there and then?! The power these doctors have over
women is IMMENSE, even though I was present in the theatre, I dare not stop the
procedure (even though I couldn't believe what I was witnessing) through fear of
subsequent divorce proceedings. I felt that somehow I HAD to allow this unknown
strange man to be a 'third party' in our Marrital conception... It somehow felt
like a perverse 'threesome' was being allowed and I had to sit there and accept

Now I'm left with a feeling not dissimilar to the feeling following Marital
Infidellity... and there is NO WAY that I can ever take out my frustrations on
her, or the doctor, as both were doing 'acceptable' things within our society
due to the fact that he has the title 'doctor' and my Wife's thoughts were ONLY
of the embryo.

If I hadn't have been in there with her, he could have probably done whatever he
liked (within reason), but my argument is, how could he possibly be any more
intimate with her anyhow? How do you get more intimate than having an
attractive, healthy, young woman gladly open her legs to order, under search-light
intense illumination, then open her right up with a speculum, then push a metal rod
right into the eye of her cervix and right through into her womb and then he sat
there waiting/looking at her for 5 minutes until the embryo was brought through
in a syringe!? What could have he done that was any worse? (other than the

He didn't actually do anything other than 'his job', but the mere fact that it
was such an intimate cross-gender procedure sickens me immensely! It felt SO,
SO, SO wrong! I'll never forget it as long as I live, it's one of the WORST
events of my life, even though I've been through some bad stuff!

My view on people/life have been drastically changed by this event. I now have a
DARK memory, that will be with me until my dying breath.

Thank you VERY much Mr Gyno! :(

Anonymous said...

Why is it so hard for some of you to understand that not all male/female interactions are sexual? Hugging your mother, giving your young child a bath, or kissing your daughter goodnight do not involve sexual feelings. Likewise, performing a genital exam is a medical procedure that does not involve sexual thoughts.

If you have a hang up about someone examining you or your partner then that is your issue to resolve. It is inappropriate to belittle others for their choice to see a male physician, or to assume that all male physicians are unable to treat women without feeling sexual thoughts. Male physicians have made countless advances in women's health, and in many parts of the US, including the large city where I work, male ob/gyn physicians are at least as popular as female physicians. Their husbands come with them to appointments, shake my hand, and thank me for caring for their wife (and in some cases, their unborn babies). Are they going to hell as someone posted?

Lots of strange comments here. Thankfully most medical consumers use common sense and have an awareness that it is entirely possible to examine a patient without sexual thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Hey doctor. do patients of yours schedule exams for their daughters? Do you perform the exams yourself or do you ask the young woman if she would rather be examined by a female doctor?

have you ever been aroused examining a patient? Please answer these questions honestly.

Anonymous said...

I will be happy to answer your questions:

Many patients schedule consultations and exams with their daughters (and mothers and sisters and friends).

My medical assistant ask if the patient would prefer a female examiner, because studies have shown that patients prefer a "third party" to ask these kinds of questions. (The studies involved asking if the patient would mind if a medical student participated with the exam, but it makes sense that it is more appropriate for a third party to ask prior to the physician entering the room). I have had a total of 4 or 5 patients in my career make an appointment with me and then change to a female.

I have examined over 70,000 women in my career and have never had any sexual thoughts, daydreams about their genitals, or thoughts of "what if" I could date them. Never. There is a switch that professional flip when doing these kinds of exams. It's really not that hard to understand. Physicians have a sacred responsibility towards the patients they are entrusted to care for, and violating that trust is not only unprofessional, it is immoral.

Thanks for asking.

Anonymous said...

I'll admit I find that hard to believe, especially if you are a heterosexual male.

thank you for answering those questions. I would like to know your thoughts on the most current research on the bimanual exam. I think a lot of posters on here would too.

Anonymous said...

To Richard (uk) , if the fact that your wife sought out the help of a medical professional in order to conceive your child "sickens you", then you have some seirous issues that you need to work out. It's clear that you feel threatened by this doctor. That combined with the fact that you were unable to impregnate your wife without assistance from him, must be a shot to your self confidence as a man. But your being ridiculous. Not only are you imagining scenarios where this doc takes advantage of your wife; you then go on to accuse your wife of willing to commit whatever deprived request were asked of her, had you not been present in the exam room to deter her. Hopefully your wife will wise up and leave you, I just hope she does it before you reproduce, because the last thing we need is more of your diluted type of thinking in the world. You've got some toys loose in the atic,..... and its my personal feeling that you belong in a rubber room.

As far as the rest of the this blog is concerned... I don't think there is anything wrong with men being on/gyn's. ive had both men and women gyn's and i prefer men. in my experince they are more caring and understanding. And back when i lived in NCY i had a male ob/gyn who was gay and had photos of himself, his partner , and their children in his office. ( oh great..., im sure i just opened the door for the anti gay comments). The point is, he was an obgyn who clearly was not sexually attracted to his patients, he just enjoyed helping to bring life into this world (and the income is clearly very significant as well). So, if he can be into the profession for those reasons among others, why can't a straight man?

And even if you are a beautiful woman and your obgyn finds you attractive, what's wrong with that, As long as he doesn't act on it and maintains his professionalism; I don't really see what the problem is... Im sure many men you come in contact with throughout the day probably think the same thing, only difference is you have given ur doc permission to exam you. And if it makes you uncomfortable, then you can choose a female , but what if your female doctor was a lisbien , would you still be unconfortable?.......
And as far as the comments reguarding the " fantasies " the all these straight obgyns are having about their painents, ..... My response to that is SO WHAT.... As long as they maintain the oath and the professionalism then SO WHAT. We all have fantasies, especially men; And they've all probably had thoughts about you .... and that includes you mechanic, and your boss , and you clients, and professors at university and the pilots at your airliner, and again SO WHAT... As long as they aren't acting them theres no harm foul. I'm not saying there aren't creeps out there, cause there are; but there are creeps in every profession... Look at the Cathloic church scandal.

So in conclusion, the message here is LIGHTEN UP people, ....and simmer down. It is not that serious. Do your due diligence , choose you medical professionals wisely. And iif your delusional enough to think that all male obgyns are predators in the making, then by all means, go to a female doc. But god forbid you ever have a serious medical issue, and for whatever reason your only option in a male obgyn, I guarantee you won't be so picky. And if that is your prospective on this issue, then personally I think you should join Richard in the loony bin, and that's my perspective.

Anonymous said...

Could you clarify your question about bimanual exams? I suspect you are referring to the concept that BMEs are not sensitive enough to detect many disorders in asymptomatic patients. I believe that is largely true, particularly in overweight and obese patients. My prediction is that within 10 years annual exams (sometimes known as well-woman exams) may be conducted with less frequency than now. Mammograms are generally better than self-exams or clinical exams, Pap screening is every 5 years for most women over age 30, and very few women should require a clinical visit to get birth control (the last statement is my opinion). It would certainly save costs.

Anonymous said...

Anyone notice that the 2 obstetricians caring for Kate Middleton were both men? I assume the future King and Queen of England had their choice of any ob/gyn in the UK. According to many of the contributors to this site, Ms. Middleton must have severe psychological issues that caused her to choose a male obstetrician.

Anonymous said...

Actually, the doctors were chosen by the Windsor Royal family which is known for being very conservative.

The young royal couple (William and Kate) did not express any preference, they simply acted according to the role they have and followed the instructions in a very diplomatic way without creating frictions or scandals with the Queen.

The frictions and scandals related to Lady D choices to do in her own way in the past showed how conservative and intrusive the Royal Family was even in relation to the education of the Kids.

I do not really think William and Kate wanted to repeat any of the mistakes of lady D and they just did was told.

Moreover, the journals only talk about who was supervising the birth on the very same day of the delivery and specify that they Winsor family chose them, Not Kate, not William. They do not say that those doctors were the preferred doctors of WIll and Kate during all the examinations before.

Finally, the issues and discomforts related to these intimate things remain always within the couple.

Even normal couples who none cares about do not feel comfortable to openly talk about their discomfort with strangers, that is why the come here on internet anonymously.

Do you really think that, if they had any issues about this, William and Kate, Future King and Queen of England would want to embarrass themselves in front of the entire world and openly talk with televisions and journals???

Do you really think that if any of them had some preferences but was pushed to go to these doctors they would attract the media attention on this and create another scandal for the queen?

Do not be ridiculous and do not use this fact as evidence of anything as it clearly not a free choice.

No more to say about this

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of boring shit

Male Medical Doctor and his Wife Psychologist said...

She may be unable to realize it, but her whole message tells more about how biased and immature she is about adult committed relationship than about Richard’s problem.
Let us analyse your statements to show all the inconsistencies
The author wrote:
“The fact that your wife sought out the help of a medical professional in order to conceive your child "sickens you", then you have some seirous issues that you need to work out. It's clear that you feel threatened by this doctor. That combined with the fact that you were unable to impregnate your wife without assistance from him, must be a shot to your self-confidence as a man.”
Firstly, the person affected by fertility problem is not Richard, but it’s his wife. Richard is clearly a healthy man, able to impregnate any woman and does not need the support of another man to do so. If he wanted to, he could choose a healthy partner and impregnate her at any time. For this reason it is unlikely that RIchard has issues of self-confidence generated by the fact his wife has fertility issued.
Secondly, consistently with what Richard reported it is possible that his wife, similarly to many women with infertility issues, has become very vulnerable and so obsessed with getting pregnant that she forgot to consider her husband’s feelings about how she gets pregnant. However, making a child is always an issue between a woman and her man, not between a woman and her doctor. In her obsession of becoming a mother Richard’s wife may be forgetting her responsibilities as a wife to respect and dignify the husband’s principles and feelings. For instance she may be imposing him some choices which she is making by herself, in disregard of her husband feelings, hence violating those privacy and intimacy which are so important to her husband. However, the child belongs to both husband and wife equally and she must agree with him about how she gets fertilized. For this reason, the statement you made is totally wrong from a couple viewpoint and corroborates Richard’s viewpoint that some women unconsciously think that getting pregnant and having a healthy baby is an issue between themselves only and the doctor, and that the husband must stay out of it. This is an issue for Richard’s wife to manage, Richard’s feelings are justified.
Thirdly, the word medical professional simply means that a person is able to practice the medical profession and does not imply that a husband must accept any professional which his wife chooses. Especially when alternative options of identical quality and effectiveness are available, a husband is in his own right to demand from his wife, that she chooses a high quality doctor and at the same time keep respecting the privacy and intimacy which is an important part of the relation wife-husband.


Male Medical Doctor and his Wife Psychologist said...

Thirdly, the word medical professional simply means that a person is able to practice the medical profession and does not imply that a husband must accept any professional which his wife chooses. Especially when alternative options of identical quality and effectiveness are available, a husband is in his own right to demand from his wife, that she chooses a high quality doctor and at the same time keep respecting the privacy and intimacy which is an important part of the relation wife-husband.

“Hopefully your wife will wise up and leave you, I just hope she does it before you reproduce, because the last thing we need is more of your diluted type of thinking in the world. You've got some toys loose in the atic,..... and its my personal feeling that you belong in a rubber room.”


“As far as the rest of the this blog is concerned... I don't think there is anything wrong with men being on/gyn's. ive had both men and women gyn's and i prefer men. in my experince they are more caring and understanding. And back when i lived in NCY i had a male ob/gyn who was gay and had photos of himself, his partner , and their children in his office. ( oh great..., im sure i just opened the door for the anti gay comments). The point is, he was an obgyn who clearly was not sexually attracted to his patients, he just enjoyed helping to bring life into this world (and the income is clearly very significant as well). So, if he can be into the profession for those reasons among others, why can't a straight man? And even if you are a beautiful woman and your obgyn finds you attractive, what's wrong with that, As long as he doesn't act on it and maintains his professionalism; I don't really see what the problem is... Im sure many men you come in contact with throughout the day probably think the same thing, only difference is you have given ur doc permission to exam you. And if it makes you uncomfortable, then you can choose a female , but what if your female doctor was a lisbien , would you still be unconfortable?.......”
Richard’s feelings in this sense respect the most common, looked after and regulated feeling of the world. It is not abnormal, it is regulated by the law almost everywhere in the world.


Male Medical Doctor and his Wife Psychologist said...


“And as far as the comments reguarding the " fantasies " the all these straight obgyns are having about their painents, ..... My response to that is SO WHAT.... As long as they maintain the oath and the professionalism then SO WHAT. We all have fantasies, especially men; And they've all probably had thoughts about you .... and that includes you mechanic, and your boss , and you clients, and professors at university and the pilots at your airliner, and again SO WHAT... As long as they aren't acting them theres no harm foul. I'm not saying there aren't creeps out there, cause there are; but there are creeps in every profession... Look at the Cathloic church scandal.”

EXACTLY BECAUSE ALL HUMAN BEINGS, ESPECIALLY MEN, ARE SEXUALLY DRIVEN, AVOIDING TO FEED THE SEXUAL FANTASIES OF A PERSON WHO IS NOT YOUR PARTNER IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER. The lady states, your boss could have fantasies, your priest, and your professor at the university: this is very much correct, that is why if you undressed in front of them, and you allowed any of those professionals to access your naked body, most partners would consider that CHEATING. It follows that when there is a possibility to have an intimate examination without breaching the privacy and intimacy, for instance with a same gender qualified professional, choosing a professional of the opposite gender, in total disregard of your partner feelings can be considered a strong offense to his feelings and dignity and can break up the relationship if the other partner does not agree with opposite gender professional.


So in conclusion, the message here is LIGHTEN UP people, ....and simmer down. It is not that serious. Do your due diligence , choose you medical professionals wisely. And iif your delusional enough to think that all male obgyns are predators in the making, then by all means, go to a female doc. But god forbid you ever have a serious medical issue, and for whatever reason your only option in a male obgyn, I guarantee you won't be so picky. And if that is your prospective on this issue, then personally I think you should join Richard in the loony bin, and that's my perspective.

IF THERE WAS A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY NO HUSBAND WHO LOVES HIS WIFE WOULD OPPOSE HIS WIFE TO UNDERGO INTIMATE EXAMINATIONS BY OPPOSITE GENDER DOCTORS. However, in the absence of a life threatening situation, when a woman can choose a good highly qualified doctor most husbands would be happier with a female doctor to keep save their privacy and their intimacy with their wife


Anonymous said...

It is not normal for you to deem your wife seeing a male physician as infidelity. It is not normal for you to feel as though you have control over who your wife feels comfortable with for HER healthcare. These opinions point to some issues with gender inequality within yourselves. Also, how is any of that the responsibility of the treating physician? I highly doubt that you are a "medical doctor." If so, what specialty do you practice where women are not examined by you? If your "Psychologist wife" agrees with you (speaking for her also is telltale), I doubt that she is a healthcare professional either.




DR NUMBER 1 Dr. Brian Finkel
Specialty: OB/GYN


In the highly sensitive world of abortion providers, Dr. Brian Finkel was anything but circumspect. He called himself the Prince of the Pelvis and referred to his Phoenix clinic as the Vaginal Vault. An extroverted character who often appeared on local and national TV, he took to wearing a flak jacket and carrying a Colt .45, and in the late 1990s his name turned up on a radical antiabortion group's Internet hit list. His office was decorated with nude art. In short, he was the kind of guy Howard Stern might admire. In June 2000, in fact, Stern had Finkel on his show, calling him "brave" for his stance on abortion.

Now some are calling him a sexual predator. On Jan. 2 Finkel, 54, was sentenced to nearly 35 years in prison after he was convicted—on 22 counts—of sexually abusing 13 patients by groping and inappropriately touching women's breasts and genitals during exams. Finkel, who plans to appeal, told the court that his patients misunderstood his intentions. "I'm not a touchy-feely compassionate guy," he said. "Perhaps I didn't have the bedside manner...they expected." But the jury didn't buy it, nor did Arizona superior court Judge Jeffrey Cates, who told Finkel the conviction "was not because of your demeanor but because you committed the crimes."

The doctor's undoing began in September 2001 when a divorced mother named Kathe Kalmansohn told a Phoenix newspaper that after undergoing an abortion in Finkel's clinic she had woken up from sedation to find the doctor lying against her with his hands on her breasts. In the weeks and months that followed, more than 100 women reported similar allegations against Finkel to the Maricopa County Attorney's Office, which charged him with more than 60 counts of sexual misconduct involving 35 different women. (He was acquitted of seven counts of sexual assault and 27 more of sexual abuse. Seven other counts were dismissed before or during the trial, and four resulted in a hung jury.)



Of the four charges relating to Kalmansohn, two resulted in a hung jury and two in not guilty verdicts. But Finkel's conviction on the other counts brought considerable relief to women like Kelly Easter, 25, who had gone to Finkel for a simple birth-control injection in 1998. She says he repeatedly touched her "totally like a boyfriend would" and asked her what it felt like. "I was just in shock," Easter says. Though the encounter—her first visit to a male gynecologist—left her in tears, she never reported the incident until she heard news of the allegations against Finkel, who was eventually found guilty of rubbing her clitoris. When she first heard she wasn't the only victim, "I was happy, sad, terrified," she says. Now, she notes, "I feel better about myself knowing I did the right thing."

So does Rise Mayolette McEndree, 39, who was shocked when Finkel showed her a gun and his bulletproof vest just before her 1997 abortion, then abruptly asked why she wasn't married. She was even more dismayed when she felt him touch her clitoris during the pelvic exam. "I raised up on my elbows and said, 'What's going on?' " she says. Now a grandmother and homemaker, McEndree had kept the abortion a private matter until she heard about the other allegations against Finkel, who was convicted of inappropriately brushing her genitals. "I think he took advantage of an emotional moment in people's lives when you are hugely vulnerable," she says.

One burning question is how the doctor was able to commit his crimes over so many years without being caught. As Finkel told PEOPLE in a statement last March, he had strict protocols requiring a female assistant to be present anytime he was with a patient in an examination room. "I did everything possible to protect myself and my staff from false allegations such as these," he said, adding that though many may have resented his manner, "any patient was free to leave at any time for any reason. None of these patients did."
Perhaps. But in the Phoenix courtroom, witness after witness, who did not know one another, testified to the same violations. Though Finkel's lawyer describes his client as "pretty stoic," Finkel's wife of 31 years, Diana, calls the verdict the result of a "media lynching" that poisoned the jury pool. "We're financially ruined," Diana, who has a grown son and daughter with Finkel, tells PEOPLE. "We had to close the business." With no possibility of parole until Finkel turns 83, the Vaginal Vault is unlikely to reopen—much to the relief of Finkel's victims. "He's going to prison," says Easter, "and that's all I wanted—that he wasn't going to hurt anyone else."

Thomas Fields-Meyer. Strawberry Saroyan and Melissa Morrison in Phoenix

Strawberry Saroyan,
Melissa Morrison






A Phoenix doctor accused Monday of inappropriately touching a female patient has been in the process of closing his practice for about two months.

A spokeswoman for the Estrella Women's Health Center, Lena Redondo, said Dr. Galen Johnson, 54, resigned from his position two months ago.

He was a gynecologist for about 10 years at the health center near 99th Avenue and Indian School Road. Johnson had apparently been "ramping down" from his position for the past two months, Redondo said. Johnson was arrested Monday on suspicion of physically assaulting and sexually abusing a female patient, Phoenix Sgt. Trent Crump said.

On Tuesday, the Health Center said that Johnson had been placed on administrative leave until more was known about the allegations. As of Thursday, Redondo said that Johnson's resignation term had ended and he is no longer employed at the office.

Maricopa County Superior Court documents show that police suspect two separate incidents of assault and sexual abuse that occurred on April 27 and May 18 during regular checkups in the office.

According to court documents, Johnson inappropriately touched a 28-year-old female patient who was eight months pregnant. Police suspect Johnson grabbed the woman's buttocks in the first incident and put his hand down her shirt and grabbed her breast during the second incident.

Johnson was arrested on June 14 and questioned by police about the two incidents. He was booked in the Fourth Avenue Jail but did not have to post bond.

Johnson was required by the court to wear an electronic monitoring bracelet and is not to conduct any physical examinations without a medically trained witness.

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/community/swvalley/articles/2010/06/17/20100617phoenix-doctor-arrested-resigned-abrk.html#ixzz2aT0z68Hg




Doctor number 2: Dr. Galen Johnson, a 54-year-old OB-GYN at the Estrella Women's Health Center

Yesterday, we posted a story about a doctor accused of assaulting and sexually abusing one of his female patients during an exam at his Phoenix office, and today we have the details of the alleged attack.

According to court documents acquired by New Times, Dr. Galen Johnson, a 54-year-old OB-GYN at the Estrella Women's Health Center, admitted that the incident "could have happened" but requested a lawyer while being questioned by police.

On May 20, the female victim, who was eight months pregnant at the time, reported to police that during an exam on April 27, Johnson grabbed her butt and commented on how much weight she was gaining.

According to the victim, this wasn't the first time Johnson touched her inappropriately.

During another visit to Dr. Johnson on May 18, the victim claims, Johnson commented on how big her "titties" were getting. She told him it was probably the bra she was wearing, so Johnson reached in her shirt to see how thick the bra was.

Then, court docs claim, Johnson reached all the way into her shirt, cupped her breast, and told her it wasn't the bra, it was her "tits" that were getting big.

After the two incidents, the victim got a new doctor, but Johnson allegedly continued to contact her.

After the victim delivered her baby, Johnson, according to court docs, left her a voicemail, which was played for police, asking what happened to her. He also referred to her as "baby" and himself "Dr. J," on the recording.

On another call, Johnson defended grabbing the victim's breast, saying he wanted to be sure she was wearing a supportive bra and said he didn't remember grabbing her butt.

When the victim reminded him that he told her he wanted to see the thickness of the bra and then "jiggled" her breast, Johnson told her "it could have happened that way."

Yesterday, Johnson was arrested. Initially, he said he didn't recognize the victim but after putting on his glasses, said he recognized her but didn't know her name.

When police told Johnson the victim's name, he said he remembered her but didn't remember grabbing her butt. Then he said he was sure he didn't grab her butt, but when asked about grabbing her breasts, he asked for a lawyer.

Johnson's been charged with one count of sexual abuse and one count of assault. His next court date is scheduled for June 28.




DOCTOR N. 3 Dr. Ivan C. Namiha - Male Gynecologist.

U.S. Atty.'s Office Investigates Ex-Gynecologist : Inquiry: Ivan C. Namihas escaped state criminal charges in more than 100 sexual abuse complaints. Federal prosecutors are exploring possible mail fraud angle. Former physician denied any wrongdoing.

The medical board revoked Namihas' license in June, 1992, after preparing for a 14-week hearing on allegations lodged against him. The day before the hearing was to begin, Namihas attempted to voluntarily surrender his license, but the board rejected his offer, Lazar said.

When Namihas did not appear to defend himself, the board took only half an hour to find him guilty of all 69 counts against him and strip him of his medical license. In a letter to the board, Namihas said he had decided not to attend the hearing because "the media has unmercifully indicted, prosecuted, convicted and professionally executed me before a hearing could be held."

Deputy Dist. Atty. Jan Charles Sturla, who headed the Orange County district attorney's probe, said his investigators and the Tustin police interviewed 91 of Namihas' former patients and other witnesses.

"Basically it was determined that a one-year statute of limitations was applicable to most of the charges," Sturla said last week. "That left but one case that fell within that one-year period and would have meant that that particular count--a battery count--would be tried alone. Even in that case, we felt there was insufficient evidence."

The state attorney general's office also declined to prosecute, despite a written request in February by Los Angeles attorney Gloria Allred, who at the time represented one of Namihas' former employees who has filed a civil lawsuit against Namihas.

Atty. Gen. Daniel E. Lungren turned down Allred's request three weeks ago, upholding the decision by the Orange County district attorney's office not to file charges.

Lungren said the district attorney's office acted properly after determining there was a lack of evidence to support some of the allegations and a statute of limitations problem, as well as an "unwillingness by victims to cooperate with the prosecution."

"While I understand the outrage felt by your client and the other women who believe they were victimized by Dr. Namihas, those sentiments do not justify the extraordinary measure of the attorney general's intervention in this matter," Lungren wrote.

"The fact that Dr. Namihas' license to practice medicine has been revoked, denying him the opportunity to perpetuate the type of acts of concern to your client and his former patients, is a significant guarantee of public safety and some retribution for the doctor's misconduct," he concluded.

Allred said she is not satisfied with Lungren's response and unhappy over his refusal to meet with her personally. But she said she is encouraged that the U.S. attorney's office has taken an interest in the case. Although she has not been contacted by federal investigators, Allred said she has heard talk of a new investigation.

"If that's the case, I'm happy, although it's no substitute for the attorney general getting involved," she said last week. The incidents involving Namihas, she said, "have been a major, unprecedented scandal."





Doctor number 4:

Dr Jose Raul Bolanos - Male Gynecologist

Los Gatos doctor convicted of sexual battery loses medical license.

The Medical Board of California revoked the medical license of Los Gatos physician Jose Raul Bolanos, who was convicted of sexually molesting a patient.

"The mission of the Medical Board is public protection, and this action reflects the board's ongoing commitment to that mission," said Linda Whitney, interim executive director of the board.

Bolanos specialized in obstetrics and gynecology and practiced at La Femme Health Care clinics in Los Gatos and San Jose.

On Sept. 26, 2008, Bolanos was arrested by Los Gatos-Monte Sereno police and charged with sexual battery after a patient at the Los Gatos clinic accused him of sexually assaulting her.

While the case was in court, a judge required Bolanos to be in the presence of a chaperon whenever he was with a female patient.

In August, a San Jose jury convicted him of misdemeanor sexual battery. During the trial, at least six other patients testified against him.

Bolanos lost his right to practice on Monday.





Dr. Kevin Pezeshki is accused of inappropriately touching a patient during two hospital exams. He is free on $200,000 bail.

A Van Nuys gynecologist has been charged with sexually assaulting a patient on two occasions while examining her at a Northridge hospital, court records show.

Dr. Kevin Pezeshki, 43, of Tarzana is due in court Tuesday after being arrested last month on two counts of assaulting a female patient. Authorities are investigating whether Pezeshki may have other victims.

Attorneys for the California attorney general representing the Medical Board of California will ask a judge Tuesday to require Pezeshki, as a condition for bail, to stop practicing medicine pending the resolution of the criminal case.

Pezeshki inappropriately touched a female patient during a Sept. 9, 2008, exam at Northridge Hospital Medical Center, investigators said.

The woman said that when she turned around she said she saw the doctor pulling up the zipper of his pants, records show

After Pezeshki performed surgery on the woman several weeks later, he visited the patient at Northridge Hospital Medical Center and told her that he needed to conduct an examination.

"Again he started hitting her on her back" and groped her "and then ejaculated on her bedsheets," according to a motion filed by Deputy Atty Gen. Cindy M. Lopez.

"The victim was smart enough to take the bedsheet and turn it in to police," Lopez wrote.

A subsequent DNA test by the Los Angeles Police Department crime lab showed the DNA on the bedsheet matched the doctor.

Pezeshki's attorney did not return a call for comment Monday.

In an effort to prevent Pezeshki from practicing medicine, the medical board lawyer noted:

"Clearly these incidents turned into sexual encounters for the defendant's own sexual gratification. There is no way any reasonable person can characterize this behavior as anything other than a clear abuse of his position as a physician," the deputy attorney general wrote.

Pezeshki is free on $200,000 bail following the Aug. 8 arrest at his office.






Whittier gynecologist accused of sex assaults appears in court

WHITTIER - Three women testified Wednesday that a local doctor sexually assaulted them during breast and gynecological exams at offices in Whittier and La Mirada.
Dr. Steve Vouis, 65, is accused of six counts of sexual battery by fraud. The alleged assaults took place between 2007 and 2009 and involved five victims.

At the first portion of a preliminary hearing in Whittier Superior Court, three women took the witness stand to describe their encounters with the doctor. The hearing is expected to conclude Oct. 12.

Vouis pleaded not guilty to the allegations. He was freed after posting $125,000 bail. The case is being prosecuted by Deputy District Attorney Heba Matta.

All three women, who are in their 20s and 30s, testified that Vouis inappropriately touched their nipples during breast examinations. Two of the women said he also molested them during vaginal examinations.

A 33-year-old alleged victim, identified only as Mary R. to protect her privacy, told of her experiences with the doctor when she went to his Whittier office in June 2007 for a gynecological appointment.

She said the doctor squeezed her nipples and made sexual comments about them while examining her.

During a vaginal exam, she testified that the doctor's touching went far beyond what she had experienced in previous exams.

When she told Vouis that he was hurting her, she testified, "he ripped off my gown, threw it on the floor."

At that point, Mary R. testified, she stopped the exam and left the office.
Jennifer Keller, the attorney representing Vouis, pointed out inconsistencies between what Mary R. testified in court, and what she wrote in notes taken the day of the appointment.

Vouis declined to comment outside the courtroom Wednesday.

Another alleged victim, identified in court as Yesica Y., told a story similar to Mary R.

The defense attorney asked Yesica Y. if she was angry over other issues, such as a billing dispute. She said she was not.

Keller also questioned why Yesica Y. allowed the exam to continue even after alleged inappropriate behavior.

Yesica Y. said she feared for her safety and her life.

Alleged victim Wendy Z. took the stand to talk about an April 2009 appointment with the doctor.

She said she became "very uncomfortable" when the doctor asked about her boyfriend.

Keller also highlighted differences between Wendy Z.'s testimony Wednesday and what she had written down shortly after the incident. Keller also asked her why she did not end the exam and leave at the first signs of impropriety.

Keller asked all the witnesses if they've filed lawsuits against Vouis.

When the preliminary hearing is completed next week, Whittier Superior Court Judge Cathryn Brougham will make a ruling on whether sufficient evidence has been presented to order Vouis to stand trial.



626-962-8811, ext. 2109

Read more: Whittier gynecologist accused of sex assaults appears in court - Whittier Daily News http://www.whittierdailynews.com/ci_19049927#ixzz2aT9PyZoz


DOCTOR NUMBER 7: Dr. Joseph Miller,MALE GYNECOLOGIST, Crystal River, FL


Doctor charged with sexual battery

CRYSTAL RIVER — Citrus deputies arrested a Crystal River doctor Friday after a female patient filed a complaint alleging the physician sexually battered her.

Dr. Joseph Miller was charged with sexual battery.

Dr. Jo­seph Miller was taken into custody on an active warrant issued by the Citrus County State Attorney’s Office. He was charged with one count of sexual battery. His bond was set at $5,000.

According to the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office, an adult Citrus County woman filed a complaint against Miller roughly a week and a half ago. In the complaint, the woman stated she contacted Miller, who is her OB-GYN, regarding a pain in her arm.

The woman said Miller reportedly told her unless she was willing to wait until the following morning, he could only see her after hours that day.

Authorities said the woman went to Miller’s office in Crystal River expecting a routine checkup. There were reportedly no female staff members present in the office when the woman arrived and while in the examination room, the woman allegedly stated Miller began to examine her “intimately.”

According to officials, the woman contended Miller proceeded to perform sex acts on her without her consent and made inappropriate sexual remarks toward her, including telling the woman she was “just too tempting.”

Upon completion of their investigation, detectives with the CCSO’s Special Victims Unit submitted their case report and evidence to the state attorney’s office.

In addition to the sexual battery charge, Miller was also arrested on a misdemeanor charge of driving with a suspended/revoked license.

According to the arrest report, Miller’s license was suspended July 12 for not completing court-ordered compliance school. After yelling he wasn’t speeding at the deputy and asking why he was being stopped, Miller reportedly told the deputy the suspension was a setup since he asked the judge not to order him to take the class because he didn’t have time.

He also told the deputy he was on his way to the hospital for surgery, and he wasn’t a bad person, but he needed to drive to work.

Miller, though not employed at Seven Rivers Regional Medical Center in Crystal River, did have medical staff membership at the hospital, spokeswoman Dorothy Pernu said Saturday.

Pernu said the hospital was made aware of the alleged charges and the incident in question was not related to any care provided at the hospital.

Hospital officials did take immediate action, Pernu explained, and suspended Miller’s membership pending the outcome of the case.

Miller was arrested in Citrus County one time before on a fugitive from justice charge in reference to an Ocean County, N.J., warrant for his failure to comply with a court order.

The warrant was related to two counts of contempt of court, and a spokesman for the Ocean County Clerk’s Office told a Chronicle reporter the contempt-of-court charges stemmed from a domestic violence matter where Miller violated a restraining order.

Chronicle reporter Shemir Wiles can be reached at 352-564-2924 or swiles@chronicleonline.com.




Tameka Stokes was 19 when a pelvic disease diagnosis brought her to the exam table of Bruce Sylvester Smith, a gynecologist at Chicago's Kennedy Medical Service Corp., in May 2000.

According to Stokes' allegations in state records, Smith raped her while her legs were in stirrups.

As she left the exam room, Stokes broke down crying to a nurse, who immediately called police, records show. After submitting to a rape exam at South Shore Hospital, Stokes provided detectives with a description of Smith's actions — allegations later shared with the state agency that polices professional license-holders, the documents show.

"You go into the doctor trusting them, thinking they'll do the right thing for you and you come out feeling humiliated like that's been taken away from you," Stokes, now a married mother and nurse, told authorities during a 2008 state hearing. "And I never want that to happen to my nieces or my sisters or anyone."

For nearly eight years, law enforcement agencies did not utilize DNA evidence in the case against a Chicago-area gynecologist who continued to practice in spite of multiple allegations of rape against him, a Cook County prosecutor said in court Friday.

On Thursday, following a Tribune review of rape allegations made by three patients against Bruce Smith between 2000 and 2002, the state's attorney's office charged him with sexual assault in one of the alleged attacks

In explaining the felony charges at Smith's bond hearing Friday, assistant state's attorney Annette Milleville said that a rape exam of the alleged victim turned up semen in 2002, but law enforcement officials did not then request a DNA sample from Smith to see if it was a match.

Authorities brought him in for questioning in March 2003, she said, but let Smith go without taking action.

It wasn't until this month that investigators secured a DNA sample from Smith by search warrant. On May 17, the state crime lab determined that his DNA profile did match the semen found in the victim's body, Milleville said.

Smith turned himself in to police Thursday. He plans to plead not guilty, his attorney Bryan Schultz said.





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*The Disclaimers:

1. This will not be a "medical advice" blog, so if you have any questions pertaining to your personal medical situation, please do not ask me. My husband is the physician, not me. I know how to put band-aids and kisses on boo-boos, and that's about the extent of my medical expertise. Also, please do not ask me to take your medical questions to my husband to be answered by him. I just don't believe that's ethically right, especially within this type of forum. Please seek the guidance and care of your own personal physician for any specific medical questions you may have.

2. If your question is in any way personal, I may not answer it. If you ask me anything about parenting or motherhood, especially if it pertains to this blog, I will most likely answer you. However, if you want to know my full name, date of birth, address, phone number, the health of my sex life, etc., I'm not going to give you a reply. For those who are curious, I'm a Cancer, my current favorite color is purple, my favorite number is 7, and my interests include cooking, sewing, reading, assisting in the organization of my local moms' group, spending time with my family and friends, playing board and role-playing games, Twittering, and blogging, of course.

3. If you think words like "vagina" and "breast" are best left for the bathroom and/or bedroom, then this blog is probably NOT for you. I live with a doctor full-time, so the correct medical jargon for body parts is a part of my everyday vocabulary. I am certain, considering my husband's chosen field, that I will be using such words quite often when I answer your questions. Yes, I say "penis" and "breast" around my 2-year-old son. He's bound to hear them someday, and it might as well be from his parents. Also, I personally believe in teaching my children the correct names for their body parts.

That's it! Everything else is fair game! Thanks for sharing and reading!